18 Months-1 year

From BilingualWiki

June 8, 2002
Today I was at a party where one of my husbands’ colleagues only spoke Italian to his daughter. It felt a bit odd. I found myself trying to understand what he was saying because he was obviously talking to her about Sydney. It just somehow felt awkward and I don’t want to make others uncomfortable speaking Portuguese with Sydney. Hum…

(Mad at media making bilingualism look so easy)
June 12, 2002
How annoying. I just watched a “Everybody loves Raymond” special (one hour deal) where they go to Italy. Granted the family’s last name is Romano so you figure there’s Italian blood somewhere but suddenly Ray and Robert (the adult sons in the show) can speak Italian. Never had Italian been mentioned ealier and no one says the mother or father spoke it to them or took them to Italy. Why is this annoying, you ask? Because I’m busting my bum trying to get Sydney Portuguese input and it’s not that easy!

June 14, 2002
Today in Brazilian playgroup, Karin told an interesting story. Her dad’s in town from Brazil. He speaks English too, so when they were with her husband Peter who doesn’t speak Portuguese, Karin speaks English. Her 3 year old, Mia, got really mad that Karin spoke English to her grandfather and told her mom, “Nao pode falar ingles…tem que falar Portugues com ele”. Karin tried to explain how English was the common language but Mia wanted nothing of it.

We’re moving back to the States at the end of the month. We just miss being near family and never really planned to live here in Sydney forever…just a year or two and it’s been 2 years this August. I can’t imagine how our lives will change. I will really miss the Brazilian playgroup. Hopefully we’ll get to move to Raleigh, NC. I looked into a Brazilian playgroup but there isn’t one. Maybe I can start one or start a Brazilian mothers’ group. I’ll keep up with people here I’ve interviewed for the research through email.

June 21, 2002
We are in Hawaii now as a stopover between Sydney and Atlanta. Decided the exact date to move back to the US when Stephen parents invited us to stay with them in their timeshare for a week in Hawaii. The plane tickets were the same price. Sat by a Brazilian on the flight. He laughed to hear me singing a Portuguese song to Sydney. I thought maybe I was singing it wrong and he explained, that no, he laughed because when he was at a bar in Sydney where he now lives, an Australian insisted he sing a Brazilian song. He couldn’t remember any popular song lyrics so he just started singing the children’s song I was singing to Sydney. We both laughed and ended up talking the rest of the flight. Brazil was playing in a big sports match and won so we high fived and several people on the plane cheered when the pilot announced the winner…I felt like I was Brazilian.

June 25, 2002
We’ve just spent the week with my husband’s parents, Bob and Lois. It felt odd speaking Portuguese to Sydney around them because usually when you talk to a baby, you’re talking to the people around you not really to the baby. I decided that since we’ll spend so much time with her grandparents that I’ll speak Portuguese to her around them. I may even do it around other family, who knows. They may get used to it that way and by the time she’s old enough to be self-conscious, they’ll be okay with it. Can’t decide. Nothing I do now is set in stone so I can experiment and just keep trying for lots of input but here soon I’ll need some consistency, not just “We speak Portuguese when Mamae wants to.”

July 8, 2002
After reading some Readers Digest articles, I decided to do some direct interview formatting. I love reading things that sound like you’re directly hearing the voice of the interviewer and interviewee.

July 12, 2002
We’ve been staying with my parents in Nashville while Stephen looks for a job. I’ve decided not to work for awhile, to stay at home with Sydney and maybe work part time here soon. It’s been nice spending time with my parents.
<br As I was reading a book to Sydney in Portuguese tonight, Diddy was nearby and said, “When I tell people you’re raising her bilingual, they think it’s the craziest thing they’ve ever heard. And even though I understand what you’re doing, my emotional response is ‘Why are you talking to her like that. She’s not gonna understand that gibberish’ when really my mind tells me, no, she doesn’t have those language constraints. I still can’t help feeling that way since I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

September 3, 02 We are now in Raleigh in a little apartment, waiting to see if this is where we’ll stay for good. Stephen got a short term contract job with IBM and I’m working part time translating and interpreting for a lawyer who needs help with Portuguese speaking clients seeking asylum, mainly from African countries.

I sort of like speaking Port. to Sydney even where others can hear. Maybe I’ll meet more Brazilians that way. I had to really search to find Port. Books in the public library here in Raleigh. It’s hard to know how to search. Finally I just put in “contos” and hit on stuff like snow white translated but really I want Brazilian books for the culture too. I found a used bookstore with books in Portuguese. I’d love to get a child-rearing book in Portuguese.

September 17, 2002 (9.5 months)
Sydney had her 9 month check up today and things checked out fine. The dr. asked if she was saying any words yet. I was a bit panicked. “NO! She’s only 9 months!” but apparently by 1 year they can say 2 or 3 words. He said, “Not even ‘ma ma’ or ‘da da’” and I said that yeah, she said that but she didn’t seem to know what it means. I told him how we’re doing the language teaching deal and that she might be slowed up a bit with that. He thought that was a great idea and I was pleased for the encouragement. I get a bit tired of people looking at me like, “Portuguese? Why on earth?”The delay part will be hard for Stephen and me because we really get into the milestones and always look at other kids to see what they’re doing to make sure she’s keeping up. She’s a bit slow with solid foods so I’ve already got that heavy on my mind. It’s a bit of a battle still to get her to eat whereas friends’ babies are feeding themselves. If I give her food to feed herself, forget it…it gets thrown or destroyed or if I’m lucky just studied carefully. I’ve read that it’s important for them to feed themselves for developmental purposes but I’ll just chill on that awhile. It’s hard enough just doing the language things. Went to the library today and checked out 4 books I’d special ordered in Portuguese. I wish I just knew someone going to Brazil to get me books because these are too advanced for her. I want board books!

Sept 18, 2002
I got some more books in Portuguese. Two were kids’ books, 2 adult books so I can practice. The kids ones were really neat- a translation of Snow White and one about the frog-prince. The one about the frog prince was completely different from what I remember. The princess was mean to the frog and he fell in love with her anyway because of her outward beauty. That’s odd because I thought it was supposed to teach you not to judge based on looks. Anyway I’ve decided to quit reading with the dictionary because then it’s more like work and I tend to do it less just out of laziness. If there’s a word that drives me crazy, I look it up, but otherwise I just skip it or guess as best I can.

September 19, 2002
I talked to my friend Elizabeth on the phone today. She’s frustrated because she put her son Jacob in a Spanish class because he was so interested in Spanish in preschool. She thought she’d encourage his apparent love of Spanish but he hasn’t enjoyed the Spanish class at all and doesn’t seem to be learning anything. I really encouraged her to find another class instead of give up altogether.

September 20, 2002
I got an email today from a pastor I’d written hoping to find some Brazilians. I found them searching for “Brazil” and “Raleigh.” His church does some work with Brazil and his wife is Brazilian. They gave me the contact number for a lady his wife knew was into the Brazilian community. Apparently his wife isn’t into it herself. I called the lady and felt so stupid when she answered because when I said I had gotten her number from Reverend Bertrand, she was like, “Reverend who?” In the end she was super friendly and invited me to a picnic Saturday and a Bible study Wednesday. I’m not too interested in the weekend things because my husband doesn’t speak Portuguese, so he’d be uncomfortable. I’ll just do the week things. She gave me directions and I’m not great with directions even in English so in Portuguese, we’ll see if I ever get there!

October 6, 2002 (10 months)
Sydney is 10 months today. That sounds so old. She is so much fun! I’ve been trying to talk to her more. Sometimes I realized when we’re in the house alone together that it’s been silent for a long time. Since I’m her only input of Portuguese I feel I should be using the time we have though sometimes it’s such an effort to talk to someone who doesn’t talk back.

September 26, 2002
I went to a Brazilian Bible study today and really enjoyed it. I wasn’t too into the study part because it was more like a lecture than a discussion, but I enjoyed lunch afterwards and meeting Brazilians. I still make cultural faux pas or just do things that aren’t quite what Brazilians would do but no one seemed to look down n that. For example, they had doce de leite which I love. After dessert Sydney was getting fussy so I needed to go. The hostess asked if I’d like to take some doce de leite with me. I said, “Claro!” (“Sure!”) and everyone laughed. I think because I was just so eagar and because I said yes without coaxing. A Brazilian would have had to be asked several times, would have refused, then the hostess would have just does it anyway. I’m gonna ride with one of the other ladies when I go next week and I’ll confirm this with her. I’m just so glad to have entered a community. I may have even have gotten a job but won’t count my chickens until they hatch.

November 1, 2002
We’ve started househunting and in the process of researching schools, Stephen found an ad for a bilingual school. It’s English/Spanish immersion. It’s funny because when I first started speaking Portuguese to Sydney, I told people I wanted to be bilingual for XYZ reasons and that perhaps one day she could be in a Spanish/English school. But today when Stephen mentioned it, I wasn’t the least bit interested. Maybe it’s because I just really want her to speak Portuguese and not Spanish. I find speaking Spanish so frustrating because it feels just outside my grasp.

November 13, 2002
Went to Brazilian Bible study today and for the second time, no one ate what I brought. The first time that happened, I’d brought a “Torta de Frango” (Brazilian Chicken Pie) that I’d gotten the recipe from a lady in the Brazilian play group in Sydney. No one touched it. Actually towards the end they started eating it but by then several people had already gotten their food. It looked good so I’m not sure why not. Then today I brought a Pumpkin pie because Thanksgiving is coming. No one touched it til I mentioned it and it was like two women got a tiny tiny sliver just to be nice. What’s the deal???

I’ve found it really hard to pray in Portuguese so that’s the one time, when we pray aloud in the Bible study, that I use English. It sounds like I’m “putting on” another face with God when I try to pray in Portuguese. I heard a neat thing in church, to ask your child how they saw God today when it’s time for them to go to sleep. I’ll try that with Sydney. In a way it’s just a good way for her to focus on positive things before she goes to sleep. I can go first, telling her about how I saw God in the lady at the grocery who was so sweet to someone. That type of thing.

Another funny thing about Bible study is that afterwards we have a lunch and people are really getting to know each other. I get sort of surprised when I’ll be in the middle of a story and someone will just die laughing when I’m not even trying to be funny. Today I mentioned a used bookstore and they said that if you say “used bookstore” in Portuguese it sounds like the store itself is used, not the books. They thought that was so funny. Then later I mentioned that I was breastfeeding Sydney, but I said it like, “I’m still breastfeeding. In English, that’s perfectly understandable because you know from context that I’m breastfeeding the baby. In Portuguese, though, it means that I am (as a baby would) still taking my mother’s milk. So all the ladies died laughing and said, “Still?!” In a way I was sort of annoyed but at the same time it’s good that they feel comfortable enough around me to laugh and correct.

I feel like one of the gang most of the time other than that. The other day one of the ladies was saying something about Americans as if to say, “You know how they can be?” and I reminded her (all in good fun) that I am American. She laughed and said she forgets that sometimes.

November 15, 2002
Sydney’s started making animal noises. Actually all she does is quack and she makes the Portuguese version of the sound, which to people here doesn’t even sound much like “quack”. I had to call a Brazilian lady in the Bible study, Leila, to ask the different animal sounds and she wasn’t sure of them all herself. She asked her young son. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth teaching such things but I think if kids know it in English, she should know it in Portuguese. Basically though, she quacks now when you ask her ANY question. You say, “Are you hungry, Sydney?” and she quacks. Even when I told her I loved her the other day she started quacking. I’m raising a bilingual duck.

November 25, 2002
Stephen is quickly learning Portuguese. The other day I said, “Cuidado!” (Careful) when Sydney was walking really fast near the edge of our sharp coffee table. He said, “That must mean careful, because you say it a lot!”

November 28, 2002
Thanksgiving was so fun. Our first one back in the States so we decided to get the whole family together, my parents with Stephen’s parents and brother and sister in law and their kids. It was the first time to have everyone together since our wedding. One of the kids, my nephew Brian, is learning German him mom (my sister in law, Sara)- she's homeschooling him. Sara had invited an IBM colleague of her husband’s and he’d lived in Germany. He and Brian chatted away (mainly counting and saying colors and such). I kept asking Sydney what a duck says in Portuguese and she rarely quacked on cue. She would do other things though, like clap her hands and since I’d asked about the duck in Portuguese, no one understood anyway. They would get all excited at her clapping and my mother in law exclaimed, “Look, Christine asked her to play pat-a-cake and she did it!” Once I asked her what a duck said while mom was holding her. She didn’t respond but she gave mom a hug. Mom was so excited. She asked me, “Did told her to hug me didn’t you?”

December 2, 2002
My parents have been with us all weekend. I feel quite comfortable speaking Portuguese to Sydney around them. My dad said the other day, “I think I’m learning Portuguese.” He asked what “Oi” (“Hi”) means and says he hears Sydney say that in her babble. He said he hears her saying some words in Portuguese. Mom kept saying “doninho doninho” because that’s what this song I sing Sydney sounds like (really it’s “bonitinho” but hey, close enough. Somehow it’s just seeming less weird.

December 4, 2002
A friend at Brazilian bible study brought who I called last week asking how Brazilians say the animal sounds brought me some neat books and video tapes. Three were in Portuguese and I was thrilled! Tried to watch the Lion King with Sydney. She paid more attention to it than I’ve ever seen her pay to television, pointing to the lion and standing right in front of the tv. I had trouble understanding some of the animals. It’s dubbed and that’s always tough for me because I need to see the mouths moving with the words. But for the most part I could understand. WE have SO MANY resources in English and so few in Portuguese. I want to just take a trip to Brazil just to shop! Our Bible study decided to read a book together and study it each week instead of just taking books of the bible. I was sad though because the book they wanted was in English and I’m trying to only read books for pleasure in Portuguese. It’s a good topic though-marriage without regrets. It’ll be interesting to see their perspectives on marriage and what makes a happy partnership. I’m sure there are some cultural differences.

One lady in the group, keeps asking if I’d teach her English. She doesn’t speak much English and wants to make friends. I have so little time to do my work they I don’t want to give her a class really so I keep avoiding the subject.

I couldn’t get Sydney to quack or moo today. Sometimes when I’m getting her to do that and then Stephen’s doing the same in English, I think, “Man this is slowing her down. If she were only doing this in one language, she’d have twice as many words by now.” But then I guess it’s not a big deal because eventually she’ll know the words and this will be so enriching for her…have to keep reminding myself of that because when I see other babies her age already saying words even, I feel she’s getting left behind.

December 6, 2002
I can’t believe today is Sydney’s first birthday. We survived the first year. The day was a bit anticlimactic, filled with phone calls from friends and relatives but we didn’t really do a party. I can’t really remember my life before Sydney and feel such a great responsibility for her health and happiness.

I was reading over the Richard Scarry book Leila loaned me and was happy to see American type things with the Portuguese word (it was written in English and published in the US then translated into Portuguese with few changes made to the picture other than a change to the flag colors if they appeared outside a school building, for example). I was happy because there are often words like “blueberry” or “icicle” that I don’t know in Portuguese because you never really saw them in Brazil. Then though I worry that I’m somehow sort of encouraging a culture-less Portuguese.