1 1/2 Years to 2 Years
From BilingualWiki
June 7, 2003
Sydney is one and a half years old now. I can hardly believe it! Most people think she’s younger because she still pretty bald, is thin, and doesn’t talk a lot. I was so proud of Stephen today. He was feeding Sydney and she was looking at this little book I’ve made for her with pictures of everyday things. She saw a pictures of a pillow and he asked, “Is that a pillow, Sydney?” and she said (with a tone of “of course not”), “fafa!” (her own shortened form of “almofada” for pillow in Portuguese). He said, “good, that’s right!” She quite often hears me saying something in Portuguese and starts saying it in English but it rarely goes the other way so I was glad to see that. Whenever I count in Portuguese, she’ll say “two, three” (the only two numbers she ever says. If I say any color in Portuguese, she’ll say, “yellow!” (the only color she ever says).
June 10, 2003
I was so interested in our assistant pastor today as he spoke to his two year old granddaughter. He kept saying, “NO touch, no touch.” I thought, “Why not just get her used to “Don’t”?
I’m a bit frustrated because words Sydney used to say in Portuguese, she says only in English now like “gato” (cat) and “barco” (boat) and the way “peixe” (fish) is transforming into English when she used to say it perfectly in Portuguese.
Today I was in Sam’s and this man with his wife and baby heard me speaking to Sydney. He started speaking French to me, asking me if I spoke French. At first I was unsure what to do because I do speak French and it seemed rude to answer in English that I was actually speaking Portuguese not French because then he might be embarrassed in front of his wife for having mistaken the 2 languages. So I said in French that I used to speak French but that it’s been forever since I’ve spoken (interestingly enough I can say this sentence really well…I used to speak French but was never very good at it, somehow this one phrase has stuck). He sort of ended the conversation by saying he didn’t speak much French and I realized he was really only knew high school French and was just using the chance to practice which I admire. I was glad I’d answered in French because I could tell his wife was impressed and the guy was all proud of himself. Speaking another language all the time has opened up meeting so many new people and it just makes even the trip to the grocery store more interesting.
It’s interesting talking to people about learning a foreign language because many people feel that you either have a gift for learning languages or you don’t. I used to feel that way and thought I was one of the giftless because French class was just impossible for me. I used to cry after French class in college. Then somehow Portuguese just fit and I learned it quickly, more motivated I guess. And now people think I am a “language person” but I never was before, so much so that my old high school friends found it hysterical that I went into languages-“ but you sucked in French!” I actually do remember having somewhat of a good ear for accents. Once, when I was in 6th grade, I was talking on the phone to my friend Susan Wattleworth. She’s from up north and, since we were living in Nashville, TN, she was one of the few people I knew with a non-southern accent. After I got off the phone with her, my parents fussed at me for “talking like Susan.” They said that I should be happy to be myself and not feel like I have to talk like someone else. It just made me mad at the time like lots of stuff does when you’re in middle school. And that’s true even now. I was just talking with the guy we’ve contracted to sand the hardwood floors. He has a really strong southern accent and so do I when I talk to him, it’s not even conscious, it’s just a way to make more of a connection with him, I guess. So in a way that’s being good at accents. Still though, I don’t think language learning is a special gift, I think everyone has tendencies towards and affinities for certain subjects but it doesn’t rule out anyone from learning. I’ll never forget at U.T where I taught, some of the athletes got out of their language requirement, because they showed they had a “foreign language learning disability” and just couldn’t learn another language. That was just ridiculous!
June 25, 2003
This morning I said my goodbyes to Livia since we’ll be leaving Raleigh for Chapel Hill next week. When I got there, I saw a man in a car outside and knew immediately it was Charles, Niki and Emma’s dad because he just fit the voice I’d heard on the phone. We talked a bit because he stayed for awhile, apparently just because he enjoyed it because the girls didn’t need any settling in that I could see. He spoke a Portuguese word or two to the smallest ones like “bola” (ball) and such and asked Niki and Emma for words like “throw” and “catch” which they knew but sometimes had to think about, especially Emma because she only goes to Livia’s in the summer months now since she started kindergarten. It was great because Bebeu was there too and I haven’t seen her in months. The girls and Livia and Charles and I too actually were all sort of at a loss for conversation which I think was because it was hard to know which language to speak. The girls started talking much more once he left, and only in Portuguese, even when speaking to each other and to other kids, this I found so interesting because even in the case studies I’ve read, most kids in the same family speak the language of the country if they are talking to siblings even if they know the sibling speaks the second language. I noticed Emma, the now first grader, made some slight errors like “Eu sabe fazer” (I knows how to do it) using the “you” form of the verb instead of the I form of the verb or she used the wrong gender but nothing that really interfered with comprehension. What struck me most about her speech was that she could get tangled up in the grammar just like I do in fact, but it didn’t seem to frustrate her. She would slow down, get it out more simply…she wanted to say she was fixing Adrian’s hair or that she was giving him a new hairstyle (she had a water bottle and was messing with his hair) but instead she said, “I am…I am doing…I am doing things to his hair” I think with adults, we feel more trapped and frustrated when we lack the grammar for the complex utterances we’re used to, whereas kids just circumnavigate and don’t seem to mind as long as they can get the main idea expressed.
Livia was telling me again how she tends to teach “old people” language to the kids. She said the other day, after spending quite a bit of time with her granddaughter, the little girl said, “Estou aflita” which is like, “I’m stricken with worry”. Only older people say this so it’s funny to hear it coming from a kid. She also told me she’s trying to correct the kids pronunciation more because she noticed that Niki, who is around 4.5, is saying “um dois tês” (the equivalent in English would be “one two tee”). instead of “um dois três.” Livia said, “If I don’t correct them, who will and they will speak Portuguese like that even as adults because who else will tell them?” I was telling Livia I’d love to talk with her daughter more and learn how her husband handles her speaking a language he doesn’t speak to the girl. The husband is American and Livia’s daughter speaks Portuguese to them, but Livia said she speaks English to them while the husband’s around. Bebeu suggested I do this at home (she knows that I only speak Portuguese to Sydney even around my husband), but I explained that it would be too little contact with the language
June 29, 2003
I had an interesting interview today with a Russian woman, Ruth, I met when I first moved to Raleigh. I saw her walking her daughter and noticed she had an accent. Turns out she’s speaking only Russian to Rebecca, her now 20 month old, and even has a Russian speaking babysitter to watch Rebecca while she works. She was a bit worked, around 5 month ago because Rebecca wasn’t talking and her doctor had said that she should be saying more words. I was curious if she wasn’t talking as early as American children for the simple reason that Russian words are much more difficult. I notice Sydney has a preference for whichever word is easier which usually is English. Ruth says this is definitely the case and told a story about a Russian boy in the US who’s mother was trying to teach him “cow” in Russian but it was like 3 syllables. The first time he heard the word “cow” in English, he began saying it only in English. Ruth also said that in Russia they don’t worry so much about when their kids start to talk and many don’t start talking til 3 years or so. She said that here the doctors are so…then she paused and asked if I was Brazilian or Portuguese and I said I was American and then she never completely told me what she wanted to tell me except to hint around that dr. here worry more about preventative medicine, discussing symptoms of autism early on, for example, where in Russia she said there are many parents who probably don’t even know what that is. I think she was going to say, “in Russian we have more to worry about than just this” or something to that effect, but then stopped when she knew I was American, not wanting to insult me
July 14, 2003
This afternoon we went to a picnic with the people Stephen has started squash with. We didn’t really know people very well but it was fun. It was so funny because I had already eaten and was trying to entertain the large group of toddlers while their parents were eating. The parents were just sort of watching us while they ate, secretly hoping I was successful at entertaining, so they could finish their hotdogs. I started singing Old Macdonald. The problem is that I am so used to singing it in Portuguese (and in the translated version, the words are different) that when I sang it in English, I got all mixed up on the words and was pretty much just translating the Portuguese version back into English: “It was quack quack quack over here, and quack quack over there, and a quack quack all around, e I e I oh” was how it came out. I felt sorta stupid and hoped none of the parents were paying attention (the kids didn’t really care, they were just fascinated by this strange adult singing to thm). Then I heard one guy, John, father of triplets and a newborn, say to the group, “That’s the strangest version of Old Macdonald I’ve ever heard.” I could feel myself turning red and I heard Stephen say, “well…” and then stop himself. It’s sort of like when you first meet people, you don’t want to mention Portuguese right off because it’s sort of odd and people don’t know you enough yet to get into all that. I was talking to John’s wife, mother of all those kids and asking her if the triplets, who are now 20 months old, were talking yet. She said no, that triplets are generally delayed. She said that also the lady who helps her keep them speaks only Spanish to them. I was so excited to hear that. She also said she’s putting all three into French immersion preschool once they are old enough. I got her contact info to keep in touch with her. She just seemed like a neat person to get to know. Can you imagine having a newborn after having 3 toddlers running around? I’m gonna remember her whenever things at home seem chaotic…I mean, she can’t even take them them for a walk or go to the grocery store. I’d go stark raving mad!
July 17, 2003
Today I called my Brazilian friend Leila and her 8 year old son, Joey answered. She and her husband (who is America, but spent so much time in Brazil as a child and as an adult that he too speaks fluent Portuguese) speak Portuguese to him at home. I spoke Portuguese on the phone to him, asking if Leila was free to talk. I think it confused him that I was speaking Portuguese but had an American accent so he was unsure which language to speak. He said in a mixture of the 2 languages, “Can you hang up a minutinho, eu chamo ela.” (the sentence translated is: “Can you hang up a minute, I’ll get her.”) I nearly hung up til I realized he meant “hang on” instead of “hang up.”
Stephen asked me the other day if I think it’s okay for him to use certain words in Portuguese (like “coelho” for rabbit since that’s the word she prefers to use or “pe” for foot since she always says that word in Portuguese). He was worried that he should only speak English. I’ll admit I am careful not to use English because I feel she gets so little exposure to Portuguese that I want to use all my opportunities plus just for my own language use it’s important I don’t use English as a crutch. I was talking with Leila about this and she has a Brazilian friend who was taking her high school daughter to Brazil and putting her in school for awhile while they were there and the daughter was in a panic saying there are so many words she doesn’t know. I asked, “But do they speak Portuguese at home?” Leila said that they do but that when the mother gets used to saying a word in English, she’ll just use it in English and don’t bother thinking of what the Portuguese word is for it so that’s how the child has grown up, with lots of holes in her vocabulary. Leila said she’s careful not to do that with Joey. Anyway so I’m cautious about that. But in Stephen’s case, since Sydney will get plenty of exposure to English (and already does, what with hearing Stephen and I speak it together, hearing the kids and adults at the YMCA nursery an hour and a half nearly every weekday, having relatives who come and stay a week or so speaking to her and such), I don’t see a problem with him using Portuguese.
July 20, 2003
Sydney is mixing languages some Sometimes she’ll say a word in both languages like, “Tchau bye” or sometimes she’ll use one word from both languages like “coelho go” (rabbit goes”). It’s interesting to watch. I’m trying to record every word she says and date it but I notice it’s harder to keep up with the English words she says. Stephen’s always surprised when I’m surprised she’s saying a word because he will have heard her say it several times. But the English words, she doesn’t say to me as much as she does to him. That’s interesting I think. Another thing that I was surprised at (because I don’t really expect Sydney to be distinguishing between the languages of yet), is that today she was talking to me and saying “olho” (eye) but then not long after she said “eye” to Stephen.
July 21, 2003
Today I was in Harris Teeter debating over what type of babyfood to buy Sydney, when a woman with a heavy accent asked me, “When did she start eating the more solid baby foods?” Apparently she was having trouble getting her son to eat anything but the very pureed ones. I explained my uphill battle with food and Sydney and asked her where she was from originally. Turns out she’s from Tunisia and is speaking Arabic to her son Melak. She also speaks French to Melak though her husband only speaks Arabic so he just speaks that to his son. Plus they both speak English. I told her of my interests in bilingualism and sent her an email with some questions about how she’s going about things, hopefully I’ll hear back.
July 25, 2003
Sydney is really getting to be a little parrot and I’m having to watch what I say. Stephen and I were lost in the mountains today on the way to the Galbreath family reunion with family I haven’t seen in years and when I missed the exit, I said, “DAMN!” Sydney in the back seat started a string of (with the same intonation I used) “DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!” I was thinking of my uncle the preacher waiting at the reunion for us, and hoping she’d forget her new word soon.
July 27, 2003
The reunion is going well except that I’m pregnant and very nauseous. Turns out my brother’s wife is pregnant too so we’ve been sharing crackers and misery stories all day. Speaking Portuguese has become so second nature to me that it throws me for a loop when it’s so odd for other people. This morning at breakfast I said something in Portuguese to Sydney and my dad just died laughing. All I’d asked her was if she wanted more oatmeal (I forget sometimes that other people can’t understand what I’m saying to her) and I wondered why he thought that was such an odd thing to ask her but really he was just laughing at the odd sounds or at me speaking another language, who knows what exactly. It made me feel silly. He’ll get used to it over time. We haven’t been back in the States long enough to spend extensive time with family.
July 28, 2003
I have notice Sydney mixing hot and cold. She mixes it in both languages which I guess isn’t surprising because not only does she have the opposites challenge to deal with (with which is which) but she also has the challenge of having 4 instead of 2 options. I think she things “frio” is cold and “cold” is hot but I’m not sure. She only says “frio” for ice so who knows, she may even think it means “ice” too. She often uses one word for a variety of things though in reality its definition is narrower than that, just as any monolingual child does. As any monolingual child, she has fewer words than she has things she needs to express so she has to improvise. Though being bilingual, she also at times has more words than what she needs to express—as with hot/cold/quente/frio—and this is a bit mind boggling for her I’m seeing.
July 29, 2003
Today I was very inspired with an interview on NPR with the author of Sea Biscuit, Laura Hillenbrand. She suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). She can hardly get out of bed some days and her body is sore and wracked with fever on many days. But she wrote a best seller in any of the moments she could, often times propping her laptop and research books around her in bed because it took too much energy to hold them or sit in a chair. I’ve been really slack with researching for this book of late because I’ve had pretty bad nausea from the first trimester but this I found really inspiring, a sort of “Buck up Christine!” that I really needed to get me motivated.
August 5, 2003
I noticed today that many of Sydney’s words in English she says with a Portuguese accent like “fan” comes out “dã” with a nasal “a”.Poor Stephen gets tired of Sydney bringing him books in Portuguese. He tries to figure out the story of most of them and tell them to her in his own words but sometimes he just says, “how about …” and suggests another book she likes in English. I too hate translating some of the English books but some of them are just so great that I don’t mind.
August 6, 2003
Today I told the Brazilian ladies I was pregnant, the ladies at the Bible study luncheon I go to on Wednesdays except today was just a huge lunch because it’s summer and we don’t bible study in the summer. I wanted some dramatic way to do ti so I waited til after we’d all prayed and were in a huge circle just before lunch and said that even though I’m not breastfeeding anymore (they know I weaned Sydney a couple of days ago), I am still eating for two. Instead of saying, “eating” though, I said “starting” (the verbs are “commendo” and “commeçando” in Portuguese and I just added in an extra syllable by mistake. They looked at me like, “starting what for two?” It was funny, all those blank faces and then they yelled and smiled and congratulated once I caught my mistake and corrected it. I felt sort of dopey nonetheless.. Carolina brought me all these Portuguese books from her trip to Brazil. I’d asked her to buy Brazilian children’s books that she liked to read as a child and that I’d pay her back. She did a super job and I nearly cried when I saw them.
August 7, 2003
Today Sydney said “Mamãe go” and “See Coelho” and I decided that was a super title for a chapter to show the mixing of the languages.
Today Stephen, Sydney and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood when we ran into a lady from church walking with a friend of hers. We stopped to chat and the friend said that she goes to our church too and asked why I had Portuguese on my t-shirt. Turns out she was raised in Brazil and still speaks Portuguese. We spoke some and turns out she lives only 2 doors down, Mary Lou Smith is her name. That’s so great!
August 8, 2003
At first, I didn’t respond to Sydney calling something “cold” today (she actually thinks it means “hot” so she uses that word to complain that her food is too hot when most times it is barely lukewarm). She finally said, “Frio” in a last ditch effort to make me respond. I think that’s amazing!
August 11, 2003
My parents are in town and we’re having a great visit. They seem very at ease with my speaking Portuguese. I am careful never to say anything negative about them in the language of course and that helps or even anything that could seem negative. Diddy told me that his dad said he thinks my teaching Portuguese to Sydney will confuse her. He went to bat for me though and told him about how when I counted to three in Portuguese, then immediately started counting in English. He said Punkin (my grandfather) was visibly amazed at how that would be possible. It made me feel good that he argued with his dad over that, taking up for me!
August 12, 2003
It is really feeling normal to speak Portuguese to Sydney even around my parents and strangers. I think her responding with actions and words to what I say has really helped. Plus, knowing my parents defended the bilingual plan to my grandfather really helps around them. She has said many more English words today. Several she has never said before-having my parents around really ups the English. I think that’s not just because she hears them speaking to her but because she hears us talking non stop to each other.
August 13, 2003
Today it was so cute at the YMCA nursery. Julia is a student at UNC and is so great with kids. I had just dropped off Sydney who was a little weepy, repeating “Mamãe?” and Julia told her, “Your Mamãe will be back soon.” I thought it was so sweet that she was using the Portuguese word Sydney uses instead of just saying “mommy.” I felt so proud when I went to pick her up because Mary, the main nursery worker, said she’s really smart and understanding well. They asked how old she is and were impressed she’s so young. That’s so validating because sometimes I worry she’ll be behind the other kids since she has to learn 2 words for everything. I told Mary and Julia that I’m pregnant. It’s so fun to start telling people!
Another thing that has made me happy is that Diddy is trying to speak some Portuguese to her on words he can get like “aqua”. He heard her saying her version of “agua” (which comes out sounding more like the French “l’eau” than Portuguese) and he tried to correct her to say “aqua”.
August 16, 2003
It’s hard to know sometimes how to correct Sydney when she says things incorrectly in English. For example, she calls a spoon a “phone”. Stephen suggested I say in Portuguese, “Daddy calls that a…” and then say the word she’s using incorrectly in correct English: So, “Daddy chama isto de ‘spoon’”. I’ll try it and see how it goes.
August 18, 2003
Tonight was so fun. We were invited by Mary Lou, our neighbor who grew up in Brazil, to come over for drinks because she was hosting some Portuguese speaking friends and wanted us to meet them. They were such a neat family-a couple in their 50’s—the man was Brazilian and the woman Portuguese and they’d lived all over the world. They also had with them their high school soon and college age daughter. I had to really strain to understand the daughter because her Continental Portuguese accent was so strong and it’s so different from Brazilian’s accents. The father told an interesting story on his son Tiago (Tim). Apparently they had lived in Portugal for years when they moved the family to Brazil. Tiago was only 4 or 5 and was playing with another boy for some time when the boy noticed something was different about Tiago’s speech and asked, “What language do you speak?” Tiago said, “Portuguese.” The boy replied happily, as if all was resolved, “Me too!” It’s so amazing how children’s main focus is just to communicate. They don’t dwell on all the minute differences we adults focus on.
I told a story that made them roar. It’s true but sounds like I’m making it up. When I was living in Brazil, I was teaching English at an adult learning school in a small town. I had enough Portuguese under my belt to converse and loved to hang out in the square in the afternoons after class. One afternoon I was talking to a guy about my age and a friend of his walked up. He introduced his friend to me, explaining that I was here from the U.S., teaching at the school nearby. To our surprise the guy started speaking German to me. My friend was embarrassed and said, “No, man, she’s American, she speaks ENGLISH!” The guy said, “I know, but German is the only foreign language I speak.”
At one point in the evening, Mary Lou put on a CD of Brazilian children’s songs. I was thrilled to know many of them and happy to see Sydney dancing around to them. I was also just so proud every time I heard her yell from the other room, “Mamãe?” Everyone would just laugh and repeat after her, amazed to hear an American child calling her mom that.
I noticed Sydney is already starting to separate the 2 languages. When she wants something immediately she’ll at first repeat “mais mais mais” (more more more) but if Stephen doesn’t give her something she wants, after the first “mais” she’ll go into English “More!”
August 19, 2003
I was so pleased with Stephen. Sydney has a songbook with the words to these Brazilain folksongs we have on CD. She loves to open up a page and make a request and I sing her the song and she sings along with the words she knows. Apparently tonight while I was making dinner, she brought the book to Stephen. Instead of saying as he sometimes does with Portuguese books, “No, let’s choose another one and let Mamãe read that one to you later,” he started singing some of the songs he’s picked up hearing us sing them. It was just so cute to hear that.
My friend from Bible study Alzemira called to see if we’d want to host a Brazilian girl in our house. The girl isn’t actually a girl, but woman, doing her doctorate in Sao Paulo and wanting to do part of her time (6 months) here in Chapel Hill. I talked it over with Stephen over dinner and she said he’d be up for it since we have the extra room til the baby comes. It’d be fun to get to speak Portuguese so much and great for Sydney to be exposed to such. I am such a light sleeper though that I hope it works out in that respect because she’d be upstairs with us at night. Also she’d need to leave a bit earlier than 6 months because we have the baby coming in February and have to get the nursery painted and ready and such. She hasn’t gotten her visa though and Alzemira said that might be problematic so I won’t count any chickens.
August 20, 2003
Today I was on the line with the Cingular wireless lady and I said something to Sydney that the lady overhead. She asked what language it was as most people do (it has a really odd sound to it, I think) and said she thought it was great. She said she speaks a little French and her husband speaks Spanish natively. “My daughter is 14 months so once she starts to talk we’ll speak some of each to her.” I encouraged her not to wait. It’s as if people think you learn to talk once you’re “Old enough” to start talking but the process starts long before that, passively by the sounds you hear and the communication you see going on around you.
August 21, 2003
Today I got a message from my friend Diane in Australia. Her son Cole and she were in our Mothers group that I was so involved in before we left the country. I asked Sydney, “Do you remember Cole?” as we erased the message and such and she said, “Cold? Frio!” (which means “cold” in Portuguese). She cracks me up.
August 22, 2003
Today the wallpaper man, John O’Brien came to our house to paper more walls and the last time he came he’d noticed I spoke Portuguese to Sydney and told me his wife spoke Portuguese fluently. He said she’s teaching the kids a bit of it but nothing like I’m doing. Today he asked, “So how’s your husband handling your speaking Portuguese to her?” I found that word choice telling, as if it was a problem to deal with instead of something wonderful. He was great though and gave me Missy’s contact information. I will call her and ask her some questions:
August 23, 2003
Sydney was playing make believe with her purse today and said “tchau” to me and left the room. Then she returned and when Stephen said “Hello” to her, she responded with “bye bye”and left again.
I have felt frustrated today. I feel like I spend so much time with Sydney and I talk to her even when I’d prefer to be silent to help her learn words and still she speaks so much more English. I know today, for example, I should’ve been happy to hear her say “goat” when she saw her goat puzzle piece, but instead my first though was, “of all the millions of times I’ve said ‘cabra” to her and she says ‘goat’!”
August 24, 2003
Sydney was kicking me lightly with her bare feet last night as I fed her in the highchair. She kept saying as she did it, “Frio!” (Cold!) because I often say “frio” in reference to her little feet!”. But then tonight, Stephen was feeding her and she was kicking him and saying, “Cold” to him. It’s great that she’s starting to distinguish the languages.
August 27, 2003
I got so frustrated today with the way Brazilians thank people (or do not thank them) for gifts. I have to remember that I am choosing to immerse myself in THEIR culture and I have to adapt to them but I still find it frustrating. There were 4 birthdays at the gathering of the Brazilian gang today and I brought the presents for each one and they don’t always really even thank you. I can understand their not sending a thank you note, which they see as a very American tradition, but if they’re not going to do that, they at least should thank you in person. I guess they might see us as being false or over the top at how we go on-and-on about a gift though, who knows. I’m really trying to see things from their perspective but there are days I feel very American around them.
The Brazilian lady who might live with us got her visa. We’re gonna meet here once she’s in the country and see if she’s really interested in living here. She might rather live with someone more her age who doesn’t have kids, we’ll see.
One of the ladies at Bible study gave Sydney this alphabet book based on Noah’s ark. It is so helpful for me too, I’ve learned tons of words just reading though it tonight, had to look several of them up. I notice I use a dictionary much less these days. Much less!
August 28, 2003
Again Sydney is doing the translating to make sure she gets what she wants. Today in the kitchen she wanted more of something she was eating and asked Stephen for “mais” (more). He said, “Hum?” because he didn’t hear what she’s said and she responded this time with “more.”
August 29, 2003
Today someone was saying to me sort of offhand, “oh, but for you languages are easy” and I had to sort of laugh. People who knew me earlier know that that’s not the case at all. I remember in high school not getting the point of learning another language at all and having to do right offs for the teacher for goofing off.
In college classes, I was always the struggling one who couldn’t even figure out what the homework was because I just had not understood the directions. Sophomore year I decided I wanted to go to Europe because everyone had been to Europe it seemed, so it was just the thing to do. I was taking French so France seemed the logical program to get in to. That meant high -level French classes before they would even consider me and I was REALLY the straggle in those classes. After classes I would often times have a good cry and a long nap, exhausted from the sheer frustration of the hour. I got the letter saying I was going to be let into the semester in Dijon program and was called in by the program’s director who told me that I was recommended because I was so enthusiastic, not necessary because my abilities were up to par and that I would really have to work to prove myself. And I really did have to work, nearly failing one course overseas that I dropped at the last minute to keep from ruining my transcript for later grad school applications.
When I was teaching Portuguese at UT and would go home to my hometown and tell old friends what I was doing, they were so shocked because they knew how I struggled. I think it made me a better teacher because I could understand how hard it is for some people to break through and really get it. I think the problem was that, at first, I was too uncomfortable with the ambiguity of another language. I got frustrated not to know every word and would get tripped up, overwhelmed, and then would just sort of veg out and not try. Now I get the gist and that’s plenty most of the time.
Tonight we ran into Mary Lou and I was chatting with her in Portuguese. Just afterwards Sydney was talking aloud and instead of saying “Bye Bye leaf” as she usually does to leaves floating in the air or stuck on the pavement, she said, “Tchau leaf!” I think she really just speaks whatever she’s just heard and she’d just heard me speaking Portuguese to Mary Lou. There are also some cases when she prefers one language for a certain object only in certain situations. She only uses “hand” for example, when she washes her hands. Otherwise she uses the Portuguese “Mao” That may be because that situation is usually in English for her because usually Stephen helps her with handwashing.
September 2, 2003
Today I talked to a preschool for teaching children French. It’s in Cary and I’d love to tour it. Today I talked with Umberto, a friend of mine’s husband, about their raising their son Gabriel to speak Portuguese. They speak Portuguese at home because both the parents are Brazilian. They’ve found that he’s getting “confused” and are a bit concerned. They say that he puts gender on English words and adds syllables to Portuguese which changes the meaning entirely of phrases like “uma ideia” (an idea) --apparently he says, “uma ma ideia” (a bad idea). I tried to explain to him how a bit of confusion often precedes clarity. It’s part of the process of that jump our brains make before they comprehend completely. The best analogy I can think of is that this weekend I was cleaning out the closet under our staircase. When we first moved in, we just packed in willy nilly any wedding gifts and décor type stuff without organizing it, just to get it out of the way. I spent Saturday going through it for hours and it meant that for about 2 hours, it was a huge mess, all spilling out into the hall, tissue papers everywhere. But when I was done it looked heaps more organized. That’s how I see our brains working. To get anywhere, we have this period that’s foggy and confused and uncomfortable, then we make the leap to greater understanding.
September 5, 2003
Sydney was saying “kiss” in English with such a Brazilian accent that it was hardly recognizable. The short [i] sound is not used in Portuguese (it’s prounounced like we’d say the long [e] sound in “tea.” And the Brazilian [s] sound is often a [z] sound, like the “s” in the English word “fleas”. That’s what Sydney it sounds like Sydney’s saying “keys” instead of “kiss’.
I never really expected that her accent would have any problems in English…just assumed she’d have some accent problems in Portuguese since I, being a nonnative speaker, have those problems. In context, you can understand what she’s trying to say and with time that’ll change I feel sure. I also notice it on “fan” which comes out as the nasal “fã” in Portuguese. She does have some Portuguese pronunciation differences that are comical. She says “tchau” with a southern drawl, drawing it into 2 syllables—[Cha oo]. A lady at the YMCA even noticed it.
September 7, 2003
I met Dale Mead at church. She told me about a Swedish friend who married a Colombian man and they lived in the UK. They each spoke only their language to the child and the kid spoke Swedish to adult females and Spanish to adult males. It’s interesting how children make that distinction.
I took a walk with Mary Lou and we spoke only in Portuguese. It was so fun!
September 8, 2003
Today I had lunch with Marlene, a Brazilian woman in her late thirties that has just moved in town from Detroit and started coming to Bible study. I was telling her about cooking for the Bible study group and how last week I knew I had brought something no one liked (a pasta salad). She said that Brazilian’s don’t eat cold pasta. I told her some of the other dishes I’d brought like chocolate pie and she said they aren’t accustomed to sweet pies, but instead prefer savory pies like quiches and such. It’s funny because I forget how American pie is. Actually it’s French, we got it from them, but still I think the really really sweet pies are uniquely ours and others don’t share our love of extremely sweet desserts. It was good just to get the advice from Marlene because some days I nearly take it personally when people don’t eat what I’ve worked on the night before.
September 10, 2003
I have just gotten to where I’m praying in Portuguese when I go to Bible study. After the study we have a time when we go around in a circle, holding hands while we do it, and pray. I prayed the first time in Portuguese a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to pray for Carolina’s mom (who was present in the group that day). I wanted Carolina’s mom to be able to understand me. but she doesn’t speak English. Usually I just speak in English because it feels so fake to talk to God in Portuguese. Anywa, so today I tried it in Portuguese and stumbled a bit but it was okay. I’m going to keep at it. It really helps my Portuguese to have to lead the group too because I have to organize my thoughts in another language. I’m also feeling more confident in general being with that group, more culturally savvy whereas the first 8 or 9 months of being with them, I’d spend the car-ride home worrying about something stupid I’d said.
September 12, 2003
Sydney’s gotten to where she says, “Tchau bye bye” to everyone, even people at the grocery store.
I was talking today to our neighbor Suzie. She knows I speak Portuguese to Sydney and told me about a Vietnamese family that speaks Vietnamese to their young children here in Chapel Hill. The father doesn’t speak English very well just yet so the kids’ English is actually ahead of his at this point She said she was with the family the other day and the toddler said a long string of something she couldn’t understand so she asked the father to translate. The father said, “What? I didn’t understand. I thought it was English!” Suzie told me that she’s always had an “ear” for language and that no matter who she’s with, she starts to talk like them. She said that she was in a very rural part of North Carolina when they got lost one time and she stopped to ask directions. Her middle school daughter later scolded her for the way she talked to the very country-talking man who gave them directions. Apparently Suzie had thanked him using HIS strong southern accent and the daughter said that he probably thought he was being made fun of. Suzie said, “I just see it as a way to communicate.” I loved that because it made me more hopeful that Sydney will speak Portuguese, just to be like me, just to communicate in the way I communicate with her.
September 16, 2003
I was in the airport with Sydney today headed to Nashville to visit my parents while Stephen’s on a business trip. Just after getting my boarding ticket, I grabbed for some of those luggage tags to label my carry-ons and accidentally knocked the labels canister to the floor. Sydney started yelling “Papel no chao! Papel no chao!” (Paper on the floor! Paper on the floor!). I was glad the women behind the counter (who couldn’t see the floor) didn’t understand her.
September 17, 2003
I got cracked up at Diddy speaking Portuguese to Sydney. I think she was a bit confused. He asked me how to say “yes” and I told him “sim”. He wanted to know how to spell it which I think only messes up people’s pronunciation but I did and explained that the “m” is pronounced more like an “ng” than an actual “m.” He said it perfectly to Sydney but, since the word was coming from someone she always hears English from, she heard the word in English and thought he was saying “sing”. She got all excited and said, “Sing Song!” So of course, he did.
But this type of confusion you also see just in kids learning English. She also confuses Portuguese words for other Portuguese words. Today it was nearing bedtime and I guess she knew it because when I fussed at her for playing too roughly with mother’s plant--“Calma” (Calm down!”), she thought I said “Cama” (bed) and started screaming “nao!” and running away from the bedroom where her crib stays.
September 18, 2003
Tonight momma and Diddy had some friends over for dinner. I was so thankful we hadn’t taught Sydney the bathroom words in Portuguese because in the middle of this nice dinner, she starts saying “Cocô!” (Poo Poo!) My parents know what that means after all the time they spend with her, but none of us made a move to change her because we were happy eating. She kept on repeating “Cocô Cocô Cocô!” until mom’s friend said, “I believe she wants some hot cocoa.” I nearly chocked on my Tetrazini trying not to laugh.
September 19, 2003
Today I noticed that Sydney only says “hand” in English when she’s referring to washing her hands, otherwise she uses Portuguese “mao” for “hand.” I can only assume this is because Stephen is usually in charge of handwashing and he indulges her for longer, giving her more soap and more time to play in the water than I do.
September 23, 2003
Today at Bible study one of the ladies was saying how she forgot how to act Brazilian while they were in Brazil. She said her teenage daughter was mortified when she was eating a banana on the beach. All the ladies laughed and I was lost but didn’t want to ask. Curious about that one still so I’ll have to get the scoop from someone who’ll be frank. (update on this April 25, 06).
September 24, 2003
My brother Jay and his family were over for dinner with my dad and his wife Cheryl tonight. Jay asked why I didn’t speak Spanish instead of Portuguese to Sydney and so I gave him all the logical motivations like that I don’t speak Spanish as well so that I’d probably give up and that I love Brazilians and their culture.
The real reason though is that I have fun speaking Portuguese. Somehow that motivation would just sound sort of frivolous I fear so I keep it to myself. It was so funny, later that night I took my 3 year old niece Sarah Beth to the pottie and Sydney was there watching. Sydney said, “I see your bunda!” so I explained to Sarah Beth, “bunda means bottom.” She looked hard at me and I was expecting some question about foreign languages or something and instead she asked, “What’s bottom?” Turns out Jay has taught her to say “butti” It’s so funny the words people choose to teach their kids for body parts.
Update: Later I learned from our Brazilian babysitter that we should really say “bum bum” for bottom. “Bunda” is more like “butt,”and therefore not as acceptable for a child to say.
Sepember, 25, 2003
I visited my grandparents (on my "stepfather's" side...I hate the negative connotation of "step" so I leave the word in quotes") today and it was interesting getting their perspective on my teaching Sydney another language, especially knowing that they don’t approve. I got annoyed at one point because they didn’t understand Sydney’s saying “coelho” (rabbit) so I told them it meant “rabbit”. My grandfather then kept repeating “rabbit rabbit rabbit” over and over as if, if she didn’t get it today, she would never know the “right word” for it. Then he asked me, “So do you ever sit down and work with her on Portuguese and English?” He doesn’t understand that I’m not using flashcards or something, that I’m just naturally speaking the language to her.
Sepember 26, 2003
At church today, I kept the nursery. I met a man named Drew, who dropped his son off in the nursery and said his goodbye’s in sign language. He told me that he and his wife had learned that children can learn to sign before they learn to speak and that they had taught him things like “I’m hungry” and “I love you” and that he really responds and says those things through signs. I found that so inspirational. He said they may put Painter (that’s the son’s name) in a Spanish and English preschool.
October 5, 2003
I was supposed to leave Sydney with Candida, the Brazilian woman who was going to look after her on Tuesdays but she had to cancel because the other people she babysits for weren’t happy for her to have another child and she’s had those people forever. I am bummed. Where else will I find someone? I don’t want to just put her in any daycare where she’ll only be exposed to English because already she gets so little time in Portuguese and she has that type of exposure already one hour a day in the YMCA nursery.
October 7, 2003
I've been in a quandry over what to do when I overhear Sydney make an error in English. (It's easier when she only speaks Portuguese...in which case, I correct her.) I’ve decided not to correct Sydney’s English. So when she says things like “clock” for “watch” ("Watch" and "Clock" are the same word in Portuguese--so it's a "clock" on your wrist and a "clock" on the wall), I'll just keep quiet. Or even just for general errors that aren't a result of Portuguese tripping her up. For example, I won't correct her for saying “up and down” when she wants down or up. I think she learned a song at the YMCA that says “up and down” and now she uses the expression for either command-- for "up" or "down". I feel it's better that someone who speaks English to her corrects her English.
Oh, speaking of up/down, the funniest thing happened today (wasn’t really funny at the time). I had to go to the foot doctor for new insoles. The room felt just tiny once it was filled with Sydney and me, Sydney's stroller and toys, and the suitcased-sized diaperbag. (Not to mention my belly, pregnant and getting pregnant-er by the minute). The doctor came in with his hot water and bandages to make a cast mold of my feet.
After my feet looked like a mummy’s, he said emphatically, “Now don’t move until I get back.” I had Sydney in my lap and thought, “Right, Doc, with a toddler, good luck.” He was gone for so long that Sydney started screaming “up and down!” (in English) for me to let her down to play. I resisted as long as I could because there was just nowhere for her to play. When I finally relented, she went from my arms and she stepped right on the mechanism that makes the chair lift. One would think, "No biggie, how high/fast would a chair like that lift?" In reality, though the chair was rising REALLY fast. Up, up, up! I thought at first, “it’ll stop in a second or two” but, no, it just kept going up until my head was nearly touching the CEILING. I had no where to jump in that cluttered room and considering I’m pregnant with casted feet, it would NOT been pretty if I had tried. I started screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Sydney was screaming and crying because she had a sense that something was going wrong.
The doctor and two nurses burst into the room. They focused at first in the direction where the chair SHOULD have been, but then their heads shot up simultaneously to the ceiling. Looks of shock and horror as a preggers bandaged woman continued to rise, while onlooking toddler screams and cries for her mother's safety.
One nurse had to practically STEP on Sydney to make the chair stop. As I was coming down (in hysterics, really-- crying and laughing at the same time), they were saying, “I can’t believe it goes up that high! Why would it go up that high?” They were very apologetic (genuinely. but with a hint of fear of a lawsuit) and worried that Sydney had been traumatized. But, when we left, I put her in her stroller and she smiled and yelled, "Up and Down!
Wednesday May 7, 2003
Today was one of my favorite days at Bible study because I didn’t feel like I said anything too stupid or annoying. I am usually not a paranoid person who analyses everything I say, but somehow after meeting up with the Brazilian crowd I always feel as though I’ve talked too much, said the wrong thing, asked the wrong question, etc. But today was different.
The Bible study itself was rather difficult. I was leading and the topic was sex. Carolina brought her mom for the first time, so here I was asking these personal questions to a group that included both Carolina’s mother and Leila’s neighbor who’d come for the first time and didn’t really understand Portuguese. (I think she had gotten the idea from Lucia that she’d understand because she spoke some Spanish, but instead, she was totally lost). Anyway, it was just difficult because I don’t really like talking about sex to people who aren’t my good girlfriends and even then I do it rarely because I feel I’m breaking a confidence with Stephen. We got through it though and decided to change the topic for next week (usually we do the same topic 2 weeks in a row because the book we’re following has long topic-driven chapters that are difficult to cover in only one meeting). We’d all had enough sex, I think J
Afterwards Lucia called me to say she’d heard me saying a word wrong to Sydney. She said I was calling a “cracker” the wrong thing so now I know. I also heard a lady as she was changing her son say “poo poo” (or the equivalent in Portuguese, I mean) and I was using the wrong vowel sound. I’ve been trying to say it right and it’s hard to change. I was happy though that Leila felt at ease to call and tell me and I told her to please continue doing so or just correct me at the moment, that it won’t bother me. It only bothers me for people to correct me when it’s something very easy that of course I know but I just slipped up on AND I’m in the middle of a story that’s not funny if you stop for correction, you know. I didn’t say that because how is she supposed to know when I’m just slipping up and when I really don’t know the right word/verb tense, etc.
Thursday May 8, 2003
Leila, my “Brazilian mother” (she would die if she knew I was calling her that…it’s not because of her age because we are nearly the same age, it’s because of the way she helps me and shoots straight) came over and we did our swapping English for Portuguese lesson, 45 minutes each person. It was good because I had a long list of questions. Mainly words that I’d looked up in the dictionary but wasn’t sure if people actually used. I looked up “dragonfly” for example because we see them a lot and I want to point them out to Sydney. In the dictionary it said, “libelula” but when I confirmed this with Leila because I’d never heard that word, she said that may be the official word but everyone says, “zigzag”. That was much easier. I asked her some grammatical things and expressions I’d read in books but didn’t understand and it was so helpful. She didn’t have a list of questions so I just asked her to talk about her time at university and while she talked, I wrote down things she’d made mistakes in and then took a moment after she’d finished talking and we only have around 10 minutes to label each thing as “gram” for “grammatical error” or “pron” for pronunciation error or “word” for word order problem or “prep” for preposition. Then we went over each error and it really was helpful for her I think.
I used to do this for my students when they gave presentations. The labels are helpful for students who then rewrite the notes and want to catalogue their errors to really avoid making them again. She brought me a grammar book and a huge book of verbs. I’m not sure I’ll use them much because I really think I tend to learn more and put more time into it if I just read things I enjoy instead of making it all to classroom-ish. We’re going to meet each Thursday and I’m so glad!
This morning I took Sydney to the YMCA nursery while I worked out and noticed that she was really aggressive with the other children. I asked one of the nursery workers and they said her hitting had started just recently. I was glad she’ll soon be in a daycare once a week where the lady will discipline her as I would (I think she will anyway).
I asked Leila for advice on discipline and she suggested putting her in a chair for timeout. I thought that it was too early for that but really I do something similar because I put her in her bed until she stops screaming if she pitches a fit. I thought I had to put her somewhere where she’d be contained otherwise she’ll just walk away but Leila said no, you just tell them they’ll have to stay longer if they get up. She said her dr. said to do it for 1 minute for a one year old, 2 for a two year old, etc.. So I got a chair out of her closet because her rocking chair we use as the place for her to sit during snacktime (otherwise she walks around and we find a cracker under the couch, you know) and the chairs in the dining room are too big for her. Anyway it was just a little booster chair we never use. She absolutely fell in love with it and wouldn’t’ get out of it. When I tried to get her out, she cried. After 45 minutes of playing in the chair, I thought, “Ok this’ll never work,” so I decided to use a little towel. I nearly used a blanket but the word in Portuguese is very different from “blanket” and I wanted this to be easy to learn. A towel in Portuguese is “toalha” so whether Stephen or I say it, she’ll quickly get the idea. Plus I can take it with us when we go to someone’s house for awhile. I used it the first time during dinner when she was really fussy.
It was hard because she didn’t understand she had to stay on it. When she got up, I just put her back and eventually she stayed. Later during dinner if she started getting fussy, I’d just ask her if she wanted to go back on the towel and she straightened up. I was so surprised that with a 17 month old it worked!
I took a long walk with Sydney in the afternoon and was thinking how Leila was so different in English than in Portuguese. During the Portuguese part she was so confident, giving me advice, helping me so much. Then when she went into English, it was like she was 10 years younger, less secure, nearly comical. I wonder how much I’m like that. I know my voice is much higher in Portuguese and that Brazilians tend to think I’m younger than my fellow Americans think I am. I must be less secure and less loud because I’m not so confident in what I’m saying. There are times when I’ll switch to English just to say something to Dawn and people will sort of stare at us like, “geeo you really are different”-just one example was when Leila at Bible study mentioned her husband had seen Emeril’s show live and Dawn and I were the only ones who got excited. I said like Emeril does, “Step it up a knotch” and did the hand motions like he did and Dawn and I guffawed. Everyone was just smiling as us like, “Gee, you are so American.”
Friday May 9, 2003
Today I took Sydney to a birthday party at a Brazilian friend’s house. I took the towel with me and when we got there I showed it to her and told her I didn’t want to have to use it but would if necessary. We only had to use it once so that was okay. It was fun seeing everyone. I felt a little lonely because while I was breastfeeding no one came near (we were as all women, so I found this odd, but maybe they worried they would distract Sydney). I really need to wean her but it’s so hard. She likes it and I love being close to her.
Thursday May 15, 2003
Today I met Livia’s daughter Sara today and her 2 daughters. It was a sort of crazy time talking to her because Livia had the kids in the daycare and it was raining so we were all crammed in her little house. I had brought my data notebook to take notes but ended up just jotting a few things down because I was trying to hold Sydney all at the same time. It was so encouraging talking to her and seeing her interact with her 3 year old. She speaks Portuguese to her and her husband, who is American, speaks English. The child speaks Portuguese to Livia as well. To show me how well her daughter spoke both languages Sara asked her “Quantos anos você tem” (How old are you?) to which she responded “três” and held up 3 fingers. Then she asked her in English, “How old are you?” and she responded “three” with the same 3 fingers. She never skipped a beat in answering in the language she was addressed in. Sara said that sometimes she’ll point to a bird and say “pássaro” then immediately she’ll translate that for her father, “that’s ‘bird,’ Daddy, ‘bird’.” She said she mixes the 2 languages a lot. Sara will say “Quer mais?” which means “Want more?” and she’ll respond, “I don’t quer mais.”
Sara said it was too bad that she never learned to call her “Mamãe” but instead called her “Mommie.” I told her that my husband had been concerned about that and had decided to call me Mamãe to Sydney and I used “Daddy” for him. She said she wished she’d done that. She said it’s funny because her daughter calls Livia “Mamãe” because that’s what she hears Sara calling her, of course. Sara said she ends up speaking some English to her when she’s around other people so they will know what they are saying. She says she gets no contact with other Brazilians because she lives in a small town in S. Carolina. I’m going to get her email so I can keep up contact with her.
It was also encouraging seeing Livia talking to the kids in the daycare. They were all eating in their little boosters or high chairs (3 kids) and they would say “Mais” when they wanted more and one is younger than Sydney (Sydney still doesn’t say “Mais” or even “More” in English…she just points to what she wants). Livia was telling me how the kids are learning to talk like an old person would in Brazil. There are certain little proverbs she tends to say that younger Brazilians wouldn’t use. The children pick them up and she says it’s so funny to hear them use them.
They all understand her perfectly and are just so attached to her. It was amazing to see one of the kids being picked up by her mom. She was sad to leave Livia, it seemed. If I were that mom, I would have quit my job the first time that happened because it would’ve made me so sad. I feel lucky to get to stay home with Sydney. Not everyone has that luxury and I don’t take it for granted.
Wednesday May 21, 2003
Today during Bible study, I kept wondering if I was coming on too strong. There are women in the group with such different beliefs from mine. One woman was saying that a man she knew had lost his son to brain cancer and that she felt that “the lord giveth, the lord taketh away.” And another lady was telling the story of how her husband bought a car that she didn’t think they had the funds to buy (she wanted to buy a less expensive model) and then soon after they bought it, he was in a wreck and messed the car all up. She told him, “See, God didn’t want you to buy that car.” I just HAD to say something though my brain kept telling my mouth, “Let it go, you will end up sounding really aggressive if you open your mouth.” But I mean, come on! Did she really believe God caused her husband to have an accident because He felt her car was too pricey for their budget? What kind of a God is that? And the people who feel “God needed my son more than I did so He took him to heaven early” make me think, “You’ve got to be kidding!” I just don’t believe that God makes terrible things happen.
I think, and this is what I said to the group, that there is a certain amount of randomness in life. I feel God is present in our lives and that in the random flow of daily events he is present, but that we are not puppets on His stage, being pulled by His strings. We have free will. Anyway I felt like I came across a bit strong though I tried to let them know that I really agree that they are right in that God works things towards good, even the horrible things. I do respect their opinions and in a way envy the solidness of their faith. I just don’t see the world as that black and white. Next time I’m with Leila I’m gonna find out a polite/indirect way to disagree.
I was happy because everyone liked the vanilla cookies I made. They were asking a question about them and I mentioned vanilla which I thought was “bacaunil.” They all looked at me like, ‘what?” I repeated the word “bacaunil” and someone finally said, “I think you have the wrong word.” Turns out it’s “baunilha”. Not sure where I got my word to be honest. Sometimes I just make things up I guess. I didn’t feel stupid though. It’s getting to feel natural to be corrected all the time.
Thursday May 22, 2003
I told Stephen I’ve noticed he hasn’t taught “pee pee” and “poo poo” to Sydney. Instead he uses the Portuguese “xi xi” and “cocô” with her. We both laughed because we know why he hasn’t taught her. She says the words while she’s doing them, even if we’re out in public. The other day she did that and I (stupidly) didn’t change her immediately because I was talking to this lady at Sherwin Williams. I looked down and she has taken off her pooey diaper (she was wearing a dress) and was stepping in it in her new white sandals. Poo was everywhere, her shoes, the floor. What a mess! I’ll listen next time.
Anyway Stephen’s also been sweet about not pushing the English word for some things like “monkey” or “boat” which she’s just started saying in Portuguese. I got tickled the other day because I was saying the three syllable word “arvore” to her for “tree” and Stephen said, “Once I say that in English to her, you don’t stand a chance.” He was right in fact. New words she’s saying now are as follows: mamae (mommie), caco (short for “macaco” or “monkey), barco (boat), aqui (here), tudo (all, or everything…she says that when she’s finished her food), “cookie”, “cracker,” “sol” (sun), “tree”, “co” (short for “copo” or “cup”)
May 28, 2003
I rode with Leila to Brazilian Bible study today and it was so good. I told her my frustrations with the book we’re using and how, once I finished the last chapter, I threw it in the trashcan. I just found the author’s tone so condescending, as if those who disagree must not have read the Bible clearly. I find the author’s views simplistic and, to be frank, quite ignorant. It’s hard because I never feel I can voice these opinions in the group because one of the ladies in the group chose the book, so it was nice to be able to share with Leila and find someone of like mind. Leila wishes we could find a group that looked at life through many religions. I would like that too or even just a less conservative bent would be fine.
To be honest I really just go because of the Portuguese and the company of these fantastic Brazilian women, so anything where I wouldn’t leave annoyed would be great for me, as shallow as that may sound. I felt like I totally insulted Leila. She’d gone to Europe not long ago, just after her 40th birthday, say around 6 months ago. I’d forgotten she’d gone. Anyway she was telling me about a trip she’s taking to Paris next week and I asked her if she’d been to Europe before. She said that she had for her 40th birthday. Somehow I heard “14th birthday” (I was driving at the time so I really wasn’t able to concentrate as much as I needed to). I said, “Oh, so that was a long time ago so things have changed a lot since then. She looked sort of hurt and said, “My 40th birthday isn’t that long ago!” I tried to explain but I’m not sure she believed that I really mixed up something as simple as 40 and 14. I have trouble with numbers. I remember when I was in France I had trouble with numbers in French. I was doing the study abroad thing and was studying the French revolution. I could never understand the dates during lecture so I never was really sure when things happened (not good for your grades in a history class).
Sydney is saying, for the first time, both the Portuguese and the English word for something. She says “tree” then says “arvore,” which is Portuguese for tree. It’s so cute. She’s also saying “rock” and “pé” (short for “peixe” or “fish”)
May 31, 2003
I find myself quite anxious and it’s silly, really, but my mother in law is coming soon. She was a second grade teacher for 30 years and is just a born teacher. I always feel at odds language wise when she’s around because she repeats words over and over, the ones I’m trying to teach Sydney in Portuguese and of course the English word is always easier, you know? She’s finally saying meias (“sock”) in Portuguese but it has 3 syllables so as soon as Lois starts repeating “sock” she’ll only say it in English I’m sure. I shouldn’t’ worry about it but Stephen has been so good when I’m teaching her certain words not to bore in and insist on saying those a lot in English to her until she gets it in Portuguese. It’s as if he understands “his time” is coming once she starts kindergarten and is surrounded by English but other people don’t see it that way.
I asked Carolina to buy Sydney some books while she was in Brazil. She leaves this week. I was nervous about calling her because I in no way want to appear to be an opportunist. She said it would be a pleasure, that she had lots of things to take to Brazil but little she really needed to take back so she’d have room in her suitcases. She asked how many books and I just said as many as she felt like carrying that money wasn’t important, as the books would be much more expensive to get any other way. I gave her an author I liked, Ziraldo, and said that paperbacks might be better because she can get more for the weight in her suitcase but she worried that they wouldn’t last as long. I’m not so preoccupied with that as other people are. I figure if they rip, I’ll tape them back together. This is just a stereotype I’m sure I but I’ve noticed that Brazilians are more worried with things like that in general, with how things look. Their clothes are always ironed, shoes shined, hair arranged and we Americans tend to be sloppier about a lot of things.
My friend Judy in New York says there’s a sort of little Brazil in the city near her and she’ll try to find some books there for Sydney. I talked to her on the phone yesterday and she said her friend, Ana Carla or something like that is coming to Chapel Hill for grad school. She is Brazilian and I am so excited to have a new friend who won’t know anyone so I can become her friend without feeling like she has enough friends already (that’s how I often feel trying to establish myself in a new town where people have already established their friendships).
June 1, 2003
Went to a church picnic with our new church. Didn’t know many people and found myself just not wanting to talk to Sydney because I didn’t want the first thing people talk about with me to be Portuguese. I don’t know, it just seems sort of odd and I don’t want to look like I’m showing off either. But it feels fake to speak English too so I found I just didn’t say much to her at all.
June 3, 2003
I was coming out of the supermarket today and heard this lady fussing at her kid, “You’ve done nothing but whine all morning. What is wrong with you? I don’t want to hear any more of it, I can’t take any more whining, do you hear me?” I thought to myself how nice it is to speak in Portuguese because if I fuss, no one but Sydney understands me.
June 7, 2003
Sydney is one and a half years old now. I can hardly believe it! Most people think she’s younger because she still pretty bald, is thin, and doesn’t talk a lot. I was so proud of Stephen today. He was feeding Sydney and she was looking at this little book I’ve made for her with pictures of everyday things. She saw a pictures of a pillow and he asked, “Is that a pillow, Sydney?” and she said (with a tone of “of course not”), “fafa!” (her own shortened form of “almofada” for pillow in Portuguese). He said, “good, that’s right!” She quite often hears me saying something in Portuguese and starts saying it in English but it rarely goes the other way so I was glad to see that. Whenever I count in Portuguese, she’ll say “two, three” (the only two numbers she ever says. If I say any color in Portuguese, she’ll say, “yellow!” (the only color she ever says).
June 10, 2003
I was so interested in our assistant pastor today as he spoke to his two year old granddaughter. He kept saying, “NO touch, no touch.” I thought, “Why not just get her used to “Don’t”?
I’m a bit frustrated because words Sydney used to say in Portuguese, she says only in English now like “gato” (cat) and “barco” (boat) and the way “peixe” (fish) is transforming into English when she used to say it perfectly in Portuguese.
Today I was in Sam’s and this man with his wife and baby heard me speaking to Sydney. He started speaking French to me, asking me if I spoke French. At first I was unsure what to do because I do speak French and it seemed rude to answer in English that I was actually speaking Portuguese not French because then he might be embarrassed in front of his wife for having mistaken the 2 languages. So I said in French that I used to speak French but that it’s been forever since I’ve spoken (interestingly enough I can say this sentence really well…I used to speak French but was never very good at it, somehow this one phrase has stuck). He sort of ended the conversation by saying he didn’t speak much French and I realized he was really only knew high school French and was just using the chance to practice which I admire. I was glad I’d answered in French because I could tell his wife was impressed and the guy was all proud of himself. Speaking another language all the time has opened up meeting so many new people and it just makes even the trip to the grocery store more interesting.
It’s interesting talking to people about learning a foreign language because many people feel that you either have a gift for learning languages or you don’t. I used to feel that way and thought I was one of the giftless because French class was just impossible for me. I used to cry after French class in college. Then somehow Portuguese just fit and I learned it quickly, more motivated I guess. And now people think I am a “language person” but I never was before, so much so that my old high school friends found it hysterical that I went into languages-“ but you sucked in French!” I actually do remember having somewhat of a good ear for accents. Once, when I was in 6th grade, I was talking on the phone to my friend Susan Wattleworth. She’s from up north and, since we were living in Nashville, TN, she was one of the few people I knew with a non-southern accent. After I got off the phone with her, my parents fussed at me for “talking like Susan.” They said that I should be happy to be myself and not feel like I have to talk like someone else. It just made me mad at the time like lots of stuff does when you’re in middle school. And that’s true even now. I was just talking with the guy we’ve contracted to sand the hardwood floors. He has a really strong southern accent and so do I when I talk to him, it’s not even conscious, it’s just a way to make more of a connection with him, I guess. So in a way that’s being good at accents.
Still though, I don’t think language learning is a special gift, I think everyone has tendencies towards and affinities for certain subjects but it doesn’t rule out anyone from learning. I’ll never forget at U.T where I taught, some of the athletes got out of their language requirement, because they showed they had a “foreign language learning disability” and just couldn’t learn another language. That was just ridiculous!
June 25, 2003
This morning I said my goodbyes to Livia since we’ll be leaving Raleigh for Chapel Hill next week. When I got there, I saw a man in a car outside and knew immediately it was Charles, Niki and Emma’s dad because he just fit the voice I’d heard on the phone. We talked a bit because he stayed for awhile, apparently just because he enjoyed it because the girls didn’t need any settling in that I could see. He spoke a Portuguese word or two to the smallest ones like “bola” (ball) and such and asked Niki and Emma for words like “throw” and “catch” which they knew but sometimes had to think about, especially Emma because she only goes to Livia’s in the summer months now since she started kindergarten. It was great because Bebeu was there too and I haven’t seen her in months. The girls and Livia and Charles and I too actually were all sort of at a loss for conversation which I think was because it was hard to know which language to speak. The girls started talking much more once he left, and only in Portuguese, even when speaking to each other and to other kids, this I found so interesting because even in the case studies I’ve read, most kids in the same family speak the language of the country if they are talking to siblings even if they know the sibling speaks the second language.
I noticed Emma, the now first grader, made some slight errors like “Eu sabe fazer” (I knows how to do it) using the “you” form of the verb instead of the I form of the verb or she used the wrong gender but nothing that really interfered with comprehension. What struck me most about her speech was that she could get tangled up in the grammar just like I do in fact, but it didn’t seem to frustrate her. She would slow down, get it out more simply…she wanted to say she was fixing Adrian’s hair or that she was giving him a new hairstyle (she had a water bottle and was messing with his hair) but instead she said, “I am…I am doing…I am doing things to his hair” I think with adults, we feel more trapped and frustrated when we lack the grammar for the complex utterances we’re used to, whereas kids just circumnavigate and don’t seem to mind as long as they can get the main idea expressed.
Livia was telling me again how she tends to teach “old people” language to the kids. She said the other day, after spending quite a bit of time with her granddaughter, the little girl said, “Estou aflita” which is like, “I’m stricken with worry”. Only older people say this so it’s funny to hear it coming from a kid. She also told me she’s trying to correct the kids pronunciation more because she noticed that Niki, who is around 4.5, is saying “um dois tês” (the equivalent in English would be “one two tee”). instead of “um dois três.” Livia said, “If I don’t correct them, who will and they will speak Portuguese like that even as adults because who else will tell them?” I was telling Livia I’d love to talk with her daughter more and learn how her husband handles her speaking a language he doesn’t speak to the girl. The husband is American and Livia’s daughter speaks Portuguese to them, but Livia said she speaks English to them while the husband’s around. Bebeu suggested I do this at home (she knows that I only speak Portuguese to Sydney even around my husband), but I explained that it would be too little contact with the language
June 29, 2003
I had an interesting interview today with a Russian woman, Ruth, I met when I first moved to Raleigh. I saw her walking her daughter and noticed she had an accent. Turns out she’s speaking only Russian to Rebecca, her now 20 month old, and even has a Russian speaking babysitter to watch Rebecca while she works. She was a bit worked, around 5 month ago because Rebecca wasn’t talking and her doctor had said that she should be saying more words. I was curious if she wasn’t talking as early as American children for the simple reason that Russian words are much more difficult. I notice Sydney has a preference for whichever word is easier which usually is English. Ruth says this is definitely the case and told a story about a Russian boy in the US who’s mother was trying to teach him “cow” in Russian but it was like 3 syllables. The first time he heard the word “cow” in English, he began saying it only in English. Ruth also said that in Russia they don’t worry so much about when their kids start to talk and many don’t start talking til 3 years or so. She said that here the doctors are so…then she paused and asked if I was Brazilian or Portuguese and I said I was American and then she never completely told me what she wanted to tell me except to hint around that dr. here worry more about preventative medicine, discussing symptoms of autism early on, for example, where in Russia she said there are many parents who probably don’t even know what that is. I think she was going to say, “in Russian we have more to worry about than just this” or something to that effect, but then stopped when she knew I was American, not wanting to insult me
July 14, 2003
This afternoon we went to a picnic with the people Stephen has started squash with. We didn’t really know people very well but it was fun. It was so funny because I had already eaten and was trying to entertain the large group of toddlers while their parents were eating. The parents were just sort of watching us while they ate, secretly hoping I was successful at entertaining, so they could finish their hotdogs. I started singing Old Macdonald. The problem is that I am so used to singing it in Portuguese (and in the translated version, the words are different) that when I sang it in English, I got all mixed up on the words and was pretty much just translating the Portuguese version back into English: “It was quack quack quack over here, and quack quack over there, and a quack quack all around, e I e I oh” was how it came out. I felt sorta stupid and hoped none of the parents were paying attention (the kids didn’t really care, they were just fascinated by this strange adult singing to thm). Then I heard one guy, John, father of triplets and a newborn, say to the group, “That’s the strangest version of Old Macdonald I’ve ever heard.” I could feel myself turning red and I heard Stephen say, “well…” and then stop himself. It’s sort of like when you first meet people, you don’t want to mention Portuguese right off because it’s sort of odd and people don’t know you enough yet to get into all that. I was talking to John’s wife, mother of all those kids and asking her if the triplets, who are now 20 months old, were talking yet. She said no, that triplets are generally delayed. She said that also the lady who helps her keep them speaks only Spanish to them. I was so excited to hear that. She also said she’s putting all three into French immersion preschool once they are old enough. I got her contact info to keep in touch with her. She just seemed like a neat person to get to know. Can you imagine having a newborn after having 3 toddlers running around? I’m gonna remember her whenever things at home seem chaotic…I mean, she can’t even take them them for a walk or go to the grocery store. I’d go stark raving mad!
July 17, 2003
Today I called my Brazilian friend Leila and her 8 year old son, Joey answered. She and her husband (who is America, but spent so much time in Brazil as a child and as an adult that he too speaks fluent Portuguese) speak Portuguese to him at home. I spoke Portuguese on the phone to him, asking if Leila was free to talk. I think it confused him that I was speaking Portuguese but had an American accent so he was unsure which language to speak. He said in a mixture of the 2 languages, “Can you hang up a minutinho, eu chamo ela.” (the sentence translated is: “Can you hang up a minute, I’ll get her.”) I nearly hung up til I realized he meant “hang on” instead of “hang up.”
Stephen asked me the other day if I think it’s okay for him to use certain words in Portuguese (like “coelho” for rabbit since that’s the word she prefers to use or “pe” for foot since she always says that word in Portuguese). He was worried that he should only speak English. I’ll admit I am careful not to use English because I feel she gets so little exposure to Portuguese that I want to use all my opportunities plus just for my own language use it’s important I don’t use English as a crutch. I was talking with Leila about this and she has a Brazilian friend who was taking her high school daughter to Brazil and putting her in school for awhile while they were there and the daughter was in a panic saying there are so many words she doesn’t know. I asked, “But do they speak Portuguese at home?” Leila said that they do but that when the mother gets used to saying a word in English, she’ll just use it in English and don’t bother thinking of what the Portuguese word is for it so that’s how the child has grown up, with lots of holes in her vocabulary. Leila said she’s careful not to do that with Joey. Anyway so I’m cautious about that. But in Stephen’s case, since Sydney will get plenty of exposure to English (and already does, what with hearing Stephen and I speak it together, hearing the kids and adults at the YMCA nursery an hour and a half nearly every weekday, having relatives who come and stay a week or so speaking to her and such), I don’t see a problem with him using Portuguese.
July 20, 2003
Sydney is mixing languages some Sometimes she’ll say a word in both languages like, “Tchau bye” or sometimes she’ll use one word from both languages like “coelho go” (rabbit goes”). It’s interesting to watch. I’m trying to record every word she says and date it but I notice it’s harder to keep up with the English words she says. Stephen’s always surprised when I’m surprised she’s saying a word because he will have heard her say it several times. But the English words, she doesn’t say to me as much as she does to him. That’s interesting I think. Another thing that I was surprised at (because I don’t really expect Sydney to be distinguishing between the languages of yet), is that today she was talking to me and saying “olho” (eye) but then not long after she said “eye” to Stephen.
July 21, 2000
Today I was in Harris Teeter debating over what type of babyfood to buy Sydney, when a woman with a heavy accent asked me, “When did she start eating the more solid baby foods?” Apparently she was having trouble getting her son to eat anything but the very pureed ones. I explained my uphill battle with food and Sydney and asked her where she was from originally. Turns out she’s from Tunisia and is speaking Arabic to her son Melak. She also speaks French to Melak though her husband only speaks Arabic so he just speaks that to his son. Plus they both speak English. I told her of my interests in bilingualism and sent her an email with some questions about how she’s going about things, hopefully I’ll hear back.
July 25, 2003
Sydney is really getting to be a little parrot and I’m having to watch what I say. Stephen and I were lost in the mountains today on the way to the Galbreath family reunion with family I haven’t seen in years and when I missed the exit, I said, “DAMN!” Sydney in the back seat started a string of (with the same intonation I used) “DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!” I was thinking of my uncle the preacher waiting at the reunion for us, and hoping she’d forget her new word soon.
July 27, 2003
The reunion is going well except that I’m pregnant and very nauseous. Turns out my brother’s wife is pregnant too so we’ve been sharing crackers and misery stories all day. Speaking Portuguese has become so second nature to me that it throws me for a loop when it’s so odd for other people. This morning at breakfast I said something in Portuguese to Sydney and my dad just died laughing. All I’d asked her was if she wanted more oatmeal (I forget sometimes that other people can’t understand what I’m saying to her) and I wondered why he thought that was such an odd thing to ask her but really he was just laughing at the odd sounds or at me speaking another language, who knows what exactly. It made me feel silly. He’ll get used to it over time. We haven’t been back in the States long enough to spend extensive time with family.
July 28, 2003
I have notice Sydney mixing hot and cold. She mixes it in both languages which I guess isn’t surprising because not only does she have the opposites challenge to deal with (with which is which) but she also has the challenge of having 4 instead of 2 options. I think she things “frio” is cold and “cold” is hot but I’m not sure. She only says “frio” for ice so who knows, she may even think it means “ice” too. She often uses one word for a variety of things though in reality its definition is narrower than that, just as any monolingual child does. As any monolingual child, she has fewer words than she has things she needs to express so she has to improvise. Though being bilingual, she also at times has more words than what she needs to express—as with hot/cold/quente/frio—and this is a bit mind boggling for her I’m seeing.
July 29, 2003
Today I was very inspired with an interview on NPR with the author of Sea Biscuit, Laura Hillenbrand. She suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). She can hardly get out of bed some days and her body is sore and wracked with fever on many days. But she wrote a best seller in any of the moments she could, often times propping her laptop and research books around her in bed because it took too much energy to hold them or sit in a chair. I’ve been really slack with researching for this book of late because I’ve had pretty bad nausea from the first trimester but this I found really inspiring, a sort of “Buck up Christine!” that I really needed to get me motivated.
August 5, 2003
I noticed today that many of Sydney’s words in English she says with a Portuguese accent like “fan” comes out “dã” with a nasal “a”.Poor Stephen gets tired of Sydney bringing him books in Portuguese. He tries to figure out the story of most of them and tell them to her in his own words but sometimes he just says, “how about …” and suggests another book she likes in English. I too hate translating some of the English books but some of them are just so great that I don’t mind.
August 6, 2003
Today I told the Brazilian ladies I was pregnant, the ladies at the Bible study luncheon I go to on Wednesdays except today was just a huge lunch because it’s summer and we don’t bible study in the summer. I wanted some dramatic way to do ti so I waited til after we’d all prayed and were in a huge circle just before lunch and said that even though I’m not breastfeeding anymore (they know I weaned Sydney a couple of days ago), I am still eating for two. Instead of saying, “eating” though, I said “starting” (the verbs are “commendo” and “commeçando” in Portuguese and I just added in an extra syllable by mistake. They looked at me like, “starting what for two?” It was funny, all those blank faces and then they yelled and smiled and congratulated once I caught my mistake and corrected it. I felt sort of dopey nonetheless.. Carolina brought me all these Portuguese books from her trip to Brazil. I’d asked her to buy Brazilian children’s books that she liked to read as a child and that I’d pay her back. She did a super job and I nearly cried when I saw them.
August 7, 2003
Today Sydney said “Mamãe go” and “See Coelho” and I decided that was a super title for a chapter to show the mixing of the languages.
Today Stephen, Sydney and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood when we ran into a lady from church walking with a friend of hers. We stopped to chat and the friend said that she goes to our church too and asked why I had Portuguese on my t-shirt. Turns out she was raised in Brazil and still speaks Portuguese. We spoke some and turns out she lives only 2 doors down, Mary Lou Smith is her name. That’s so great!
August 8, 2003
At first, I didn’t respond to Sydney calling something “cold” today (she actually thinks it means “hot” so she uses that word to complain that her food is too hot when most times it is barely lukewarm). She finally said, “Frio” in a last ditch effort to make me respond. I think that’s amazing!
August 11, 2003
My parents are in town and we’re having a great visit. They seem very at ease with my speaking Portuguese. I am careful never to say anything negative about them in the language of course and that helps or even anything that could seem negative. Diddy told me that his dad said he thinks my teaching Portuguese to Sydney will confuse her. He went to bat for me though and told him about how when I counted to three in Portuguese, then immediately started counting in English. He said Punkin (my grandfather) was visibly amazed at how that would be possible. It made me feel good that he argued with his dad over that, taking up for me!
August 12, 2003
It is really feeling normal to speak Portuguese to Sydney even around my parents and strangers. I think her responding with actions and words to what I say has really helped. Plus, knowing my parents defended the bilingual plan to my grandfather really helps around them. She has said many more English words today. Several she has never said before-having my parents around really ups the English. I think that’s not just because she hears them speaking to her but because she hears us talking non stop to each other.
August 13, 2003
Today it was so cute at the YMCA nursery. Julia is a student at UNC and is so great with kids. I had just dropped off Sydney who was a little weepy, repeating “Mamãe?” and Julia told her, “Your Mamãe will be back soon.” I thought it was so sweet that she was using the Portuguese word Sydney uses instead of just saying “mommy.” I felt so proud when I went to pick her up because Mary, the main nursery worker, said she’s really smart and understanding well. They asked how old she is and were impressed she’s so young. That’s so validating because sometimes I worry she’ll be behind the other kids since she has to learn 2 words for everything. I told Mary and Julia that I’m pregnant. It’s so fun to start telling people!
Another thing that has made me happy is that Diddy is trying to speak some Portuguese to her on words he can get like “aqua”. He heard her saying her version of “agua” (which comes out sounding more like the French “l’eau” than Portuguese) and he tried to correct her to say “aqua”.
August 16, 2003
It’s hard to know sometimes how to correct Sydney when she says things incorrectly in English. For example, she calls a spoon a “phone”. Stephen suggested I say in Portuguese, “Daddy calls that a…” and then say the word she’s using incorrectly in correct English: So, “Daddy chama isto de ‘spoon’”. I’ll try it and see how it goes.
August 18, 2003
Tonight was so fun. We were invited by Mary Lou, our neighbor who grew up in Brazil, to come over for drinks because she was hosting some Portuguese speaking friends and wanted us to meet them. They were such a neat family-a couple in their 50’s—the man was Brazilian and the woman Portuguese and they’d lived all over the world. They also had with them their high school soon and college age daughter. I had to really strain to understand the daughter because her Continental Portuguese accent was so strong and it’s so different from Brazilian’s accents. The father told an interesting story on his son Tiago (Tim). Apparently they had lived in Portugal for years when they moved the family to Brazil. Tiago was only 4 or 5 and was playing with another boy for some time when the boy noticed something was different about Tiago’s speech and asked, “What language do you speak?” Tiago said, “Portuguese.” The boy replied happily, as if all was resolved, “Me too!” It’s so amazing how children’s main focus is just to communicate. They don’t dwell on all the minute differences we adults focus on.
I told a story that made them roar. It’s true but sounds like I’m making it up. When I was living in Brazil, I was teaching English at an adult learning school in a small town. I had enough Portuguese under my belt to converse and loved to hang out in the square in the afternoons after class. One afternoon I was talking to a guy from the school, Gil, and a friend of his walked up. He introduced his friend to me, explaining that I was here from the U.S., teaching at the school nearby. To our surprise the friend started speaking German to me. Gil was embarrassed and said, “No, man, she’s American, she speaks ENGLISH!” The guy said, “I know, but German is the only foreign language I speak.”
At one point in the evening, Mary Lou put on a CD of Brazilian children’s songs. I was thrilled to know many of them and happy to see Sydney dancing around to them. I was also just so proud every time I heard her yell from the other room, “Mamãe?” Everyone would just laugh and repeat after her, amazed to hear an American child calling her mom that.
I noticed Sydney is already starting to separate the 2 languages. When she wants something immediately she’ll at first repeat “mais mais mais” (more more more) but if Stephen doesn’t give her something she wants, after the first “mais” she’ll go into English “More!”
August 19, 2003
I was so pleased with Stephen. Sydney has a songbook with the words to these Brazilain folksongs we have on CD. She loves to open up a page and make a request and I sing her the song and she sings along with the words she knows. Apparently tonight while I was making dinner, she brought the book to Stephen. Instead of saying as he sometimes does with Portuguese books, “No, let’s choose another one and let Mamãe read that one to you later,” he started singing some of the songs he’s picked up hearing us sing them. It was just so cute to hear that.
My friend from Bible study Alzemira called to see if we’d want to host a Brazilian girl in our house. The girl isn’t actually a girl, but woman, doing her doctorate in Sao Paulo and wanting to do part of her time (6 months) here in Chapel Hill. I talked it over with Stephen over dinner and she said he’d be up for it since we have the extra room til the baby comes. It’d be fun to get to speak Portuguese so much and great for Sydney to be exposed to such. I am such a light sleeper though that I hope it works out in that respect because she’d be upstairs with us at night. Also she’d need to leave a bit earlier than 6 months because we have the baby coming in February and have to get the nursery painted and ready and such. She hasn’t gotten her visa though and Alzemira said that might be problematic so I won’t count any chickens.
August 20, 2003
Today I was on the line with the Cingular wireless lady and I said something to Sydney that the lady overhead. She asked what language it was as most people do (it has a really odd sound to it, I think) and said she thought it was great. She said she speaks a little French and her husband speaks Spanish natively. “My daughter is 14 months so once she starts to talk we’ll speak some of each to her.” I encouraged her not to wait. It’s as if people think you learn to talk once you’re “Old enough” to start talking but the process starts long before that, passively by the sounds you hear and the communication you see going on around you.
August 21, 2003
Today I got a message from my friend Diane in Australia. Her son Cole and she were in our Mothers group that I was so involved in before we left the country. I asked Sydney, “Do you remember Cole?” as we erased the message and such and she said, “Cold? Frio!” (which means “cold” in Portuguese). She cracks me up.
August 22, 2003
Today the wallpaper man, John O’Brien came to our house to paper more walls and the last time he came he’d noticed I spoke Portuguese to Sydney and told me his wife spoke Portuguese fluently. He said she’s teaching the kids a bit of it but nothing like I’m doing. Today he asked, “So how’s your husband handling your speaking Portuguese to her?” I found that word choice telling, as if it was a problem to deal with instead of something wonderful. He was great though and gave me Missy’s contact information. I will call her and ask her some questions:
August 23, 2003
Sydney was playing make believe with her purse today and said “tchau” to me and left the room. Then she returned and when Stephen said “Hello” to her, she responded with “bye bye”and left again.
I have felt frustrated today. I feel like I spend so much time with Sydney and I talk to her even when I’d prefer to be silent to help her learn words and still she speaks so much more English. I know today, for example, I should’ve been happy to hear her say “goat” when she saw her goat puzzle piece, but instead my first though was, “of all the millions of times I’ve said ‘cabra” to her and she says ‘goat’!”
August 24, 2003
Sydney was kicking me lightly with her bare feet last night as I fed her in the highchair. She kept saying as she did it, “Frio!” (Cold!) because I often say “frio” in reference to her little feet!”. But then tonight, Stephen was feeding her and she was kicking him and saying, “Cold” to him. It’s great that she’s starting to distinguish the languages.
August 27, 2003
I got so frustrated today with the way Brazilians thank people (or do not thank them) for gifts. I have to remember that I am choosing to immerse myself in THEIR culture and I have to adapt to them but I still find it frustrating. There were 4 birthdays at the gathering of the Brazilian gang today and I brought the presents for each one and they don’t always really even thank you. I can understand their not sending a thank you note, which they see as a very American tradition, but if they’re not going to do that, they at least should thank you in person. I guess they might see us as being false or over the top at how we go on-and-on about a gift though, who knows. I’m really trying to see things from their perspective but there are days I feel very American around them.
The Brazilian lady who might live with us got her visa. We’re gonna meet here once she’s in the country and see if she’s really interested in living here. She might rather live with someone more her age who doesn’t have kids, we’ll see.
One of the ladies at Bible study gave Sydney this alphabet book based on Noah’s ark. It is so helpful for me too, I’ve learned tons of words just reading though it tonight, had to look several of them up. I notice I use a dictionary much less these days. Much less!
August 28, 2003
Again Sydney is doing the translating to make sure she gets what she wants. Today in the kitchen she wanted more of something she was eating and asked Stephen for “mais” (more). He said, “Hum?” because he didn’t hear what she’s said and she responded this time with “more.”
August 29, 2003
Today someone was saying to me sort of offhand, “oh, but for you languages are easy” and I had to sort of laugh. People who knew me earlier know that that’s not the case at all. I remember in high school not getting the point of learning another language at all and having to do right offs for the teacher for goofing off.
In college classes, I was always the struggling one who couldn’t even figure out what the homework was because I just had not understood the directions. Sophomore year I decided I wanted to go to Europe because everyone had been to Europe it seemed, so it was just the thing to do. I was taking French so France seemed the logical program to get in to. That meant high -level French classes before they would even consider me and I was REALLY the straggle in those classes. After classes I would often times have a good cry and a long nap, exhausted from the sheer frustration of the hour. I got the letter saying I was going to be let into the semester in Dijon program and was called in by the program’s director who told me that I was recommended because I was so enthusiastic, not necessary because my abilities were up to par and that I would really have to work to prove myself. And I really did have to work, nearly failing one course overseas that I dropped at the last minute to keep from ruining my transcript for later grad school applications.
When I was teaching Portuguese at UT and would go home to my hometown and tell old friends what I was doing, they were so shocked because they knew how I struggled. I think it made me a better teacher because I could understand how hard it is for some people to break through and really get it. I think the problem was that, at first, I was too uncomfortable with the ambiguity of another language. I got frustrated not to know every word and would get tripped up, overwhelmed, and then would just sort of veg out and not try. Now I get the gist and that’s plenty most of the time.
Tonight we ran into Mary Lou and I was chatting with her in Portuguese. Just afterwards Sydney was talking aloud and instead of saying “Bye Bye leaf” as she usually does to leaves floating in the air or stuck on the pavement, she said, “Tchau leaf!” I think she really just speaks whatever she’s just heard and she’d just heard me speaking Portuguese to Mary Lou. There are also some cases when she prefers one language for a certain object only in certain situations. She only uses “hand” for example, when she washes her hands. Otherwise she uses the Portuguese “Mao” That may be because that situation is usually in English for her because usually Stephen helps her with handwashing.
September 2, 2003
Today I talked to a preschool for teaching children French. It’s in Cary and I’d love to tour it. Today I talked with Umberto, a friend of mine’s husband, about their raising their son Gabriel to speak Portuguese. They speak Portuguese at home because both the parents are Brazilian. They’ve found that he’s getting “confused” and are a bit concerned. They say that he puts gender on English words and adds syllables to Portuguese which changes the meaning entirely of phrases like “uma ideia” (an idea) --apparently he says, “uma ma ideia” (a bad idea). I tried to explain to him how a bit of confusion often precedes clarity. It’s part of the process of that jump our brains make before they comprehend completely. The best analogy I can think of is that this weekend I was cleaning out the closet under our staircase. When we first moved in, we just packed in willy nilly any wedding gifts and décor type stuff without organizing it, just to get it out of the way. I spent Saturday going through it for hours and it meant that for about 2 hours, it was a huge mess, all spilling out into the hall, tissue papers everywhere. But when I was done it looked heaps more organized. That’s how I see our brains working. To get anywhere, we have this period that’s foggy and confused and uncomfortable, then we make the leap to greater understanding.
September 5, 2003
Sydney was saying “kiss” in English with such a Brazilian accent that it was hardly recognizable. The short [i] sound is not used in Portuguese (it’s prounounced like we’d say the long [e] sound in “tea.” And the Brazilian [s] sound is often a [z] sound, like the “s” in the English word “fleas”. That’s what Sydney it sounds like Sydney’s saying “keys” instead of “kiss’.
I never really expected that her accent would have any problems in English…just assumed she’d have some accent problems in Portuguese since I, being a nonnative speaker, have those problems. In context, you can understand what she’s trying to say and with time that’ll change I feel sure. I also notice it on “fan” which comes out as the nasal “fã” in Portuguese. She does have some Portuguese pronunciation differences that are comical. She says “tchau” with a southern drawl, drawing it into 2 syllables—[Cha oo]. A lady at the YMCA even noticed it.
September 7, 2003
I met Dale Mead at church. She told me about a Swedish friend who married a Colombian man and they lived in the UK. They each spoke only their language to the child and the kid spoke Swedish to adult females and Spanish to adult males. It’s interesting how children make that distinction.
I took a walk with Mary Lou and we spoke only in Portuguese. It was so fun!
September 8, 2003
Today I had lunch with Marlene, a Brazilian woman in her late thirties that has just moved in town from Detroit and started coming to Bible study. I was telling her about cooking for the Bible study group and how last week I knew I had brought something no one liked (a pasta salad). She said that Brazilian’s don’t eat cold pasta. I told her some of the other dishes I’d brought like chocolate pie and she said they aren’t accustomed to sweet pies, but instead prefer savory pies like quiches and such. It’s funny because I forget how American pie is. Actually it’s French, we got it from them, but still I think the really really sweet pies are uniquely ours and others don’t share our love of extremely sweet desserts. It was good just to get the advice from Marlene because some days I nearly take it personally when people don’t eat what I’ve worked on the night before.
September 10, 2003
I have just gotten to where I’m praying in Portuguese when I go to Bible study. After the study we have a time when we go around in a circle, holding hands while we do it, and pray. I prayed the first time in Portuguese a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to pray for Carolina’s mom (who was present in the group that day). I wanted Carolina’s mom to be able to understand me. but she doesn’t speak English. Usually I just speak in English because it feels so fake to talk to God in Portuguese. Anywa, so today I tried it in Portuguese and stumbled a bit but it was okay. I’m going to keep at it. It really helps my Portuguese to have to lead the group too because I have to organize my thoughts in another language. I’m also feeling more confident in general being with that group, more culturally savvy whereas the first 8 or 9 months of being with them, I’d spend the car-ride home worrying about something stupid I’d said.
September 12, 2003
Sydney’s gotten to where she says, “Tchau bye bye” to everyone, even people at the grocery store.
I was talking today to our neighbor Suzie. She knows I speak Portuguese to Sydney and told me about a Vietnamese family that speaks Vietnamese to their young children here in Chapel Hill. The father doesn’t speak English very well just yet so the kids’ English is actually ahead of his at this point She said she was with the family the other day and the toddler said a long string of something she couldn’t understand so she asked the father to translate. The father said, “What? I didn’t understand. I thought it was English!” Suzie told me that she’s always had an “ear” for language and that no matter who she’s with, she starts to talk like them. She said that she was in a very rural part of North Carolina when they got lost one time and she stopped to ask directions. Her middle school daughter later scolded her for the way she talked to the very country-talking man who gave them directions. Apparently Suzie had thanked him using HIS strong southern accent and the daughter said that he probably thought he was being made fun of. Suzie said, “I just see it as a way to communicate.” I loved that because it made me more hopeful that Sydney will speak Portuguese, just to be like me, just to communicate in the way I communicate with her.
September 16, 2003
I was in the airport with Sydney today headed to Nashville to visit my parents while Stephen’s on a business trip. Just after getting my boarding ticket, I grabbed for some of those luggage tags to label my carry-ons and accidentally knocked the labels canister to the floor. Sydney started yelling “Papel no chao! Papel no chao!” (Paper on the floor! Paper on the floor!). I was glad the women behind the counter (who couldn’t see the floor) didn’t understand her.
September 17, 2003
I got cracked up at Diddy speaking Portuguese to Sydney. I think she was a bit confused. He asked me how to say “yes” and I told him “sim”. He wanted to know how to spell it which I think only messes up people’s pronunciation but I did and explained that the “m” is pronounced more like an “ng” than an actual “m.” He said it perfectly to Sydney but, since the word was coming from someone she always hears English from, she heard the word in English and thought he was saying “sing”. She got all excited and said, “Sing Song!” So of course, he did.
But this type of confusion you also see just in kids learning English. She also confuses Portuguese words for other Portuguese words. Today it was nearing bedtime and I guess she knew it because when I fussed at her for playing too roughly with mother’s plant--“Calma” (Calm down!”), she thought I said “Cama” (bed) and started screaming “nao!” and running away from the bedroom where her crib stays.
September 18, 2003
Tonight momma and Diddy had some friends over for dinner. I was so thankful we hadn’t taught Sydney the bathroom words in Portuguese because in the middle of this nice dinner, she starts saying “Cocô!” (Poo Poo!) My parents know what that means after all the time they spend with her, but none of us made a move to change her because we were happy eating. She kept on repeating “Cocô Cocô Cocô!” until mom’s friend said, “I believe she wants some hot cocoa.” I nearly chocked on my Tetrazini trying not to laugh.
September 19, 2003
Today I noticed that Sydney only says “hand” in English when she’s referring to washing her hands, otherwise she uses Portuguese “mao” for “hand.” I can only assume this is because Stephen is usually in charge of handwashing and he indulges her for longer, giving her more soap and more time to play in the water than I do.
September 23, 2003
Today at Bible study one of the ladies was saying how she forgot how to act Brazilian while they were in Brazil. She said her teenage daughter was mortified when she was eating a banana on the beach. All the ladies laughed and I was lost but didn’t want to ask. Curious about that one still so I’ll have to get the scoop from someone who’ll be frank. (Update on this April 25, 06.
September 24, 2003
My brother Jay and his family were over for dinner with my dad and his wife Cheryl tonight. Jay asked why I didn’t speak Spanish instead of Portuguese to Sydney and so I gave him all the logical motivations like that I don’t speak Spanish as well so that I’d probably give up and that I love Brazilians and their culture.
The real reason though is that I have fun speaking Portuguese. Somehow that motivation would just sound sort of frivolous I fear so I keep it to myself. It was so funny, later that night I took my 3 year old niece Sarah Beth to the pottie and Sydney was there watching. Sydney said, “I see your bunda!” so I explained to Sarah Beth, “bunda means bottom.” She looked hard at me and I was expecting some question about foreign languages or something and instead she asked, “What’s bottom?” Turns out Jay has taught her to say “butti” It’s so funny the words people choose to teach their kids for body parts.
Later I learned from our Brazilian babysitter that we should really say “bum bum” for bottom. “Bunda” is more like “butt,”and therefore not as acceptable for a child to say.
September, 25, 2003
I visited my grandparents today and it was interesting getting their perspective on my teaching Sydney another language, especially knowing that they don’t approve. I got annoyed at one point because they didn’t understand Sydney’s saying “coelho” (rabbit) so I told them it meant “rabbit”. My grandfather then kept repeating “rabbit rabbit rabbit” over and over as if, if she didn’t get it today, she would never know the “right word” for it. Then he asked me, “So do you ever sit down and work with her on Portuguese and English?” He doesn’t understand that I’m not using flashcards or something, that I’m just naturally speaking the language to her.
Sepember 26, 2003
At church today, I kept the nursery. I met a man named James, who dropped his son off in the nursery and said his goodbye’s in sign language. He told me that he and his wife had learned that children can learn to sign before they learn to speak and that they had taught him things like “I’m hungry” and “I love you” and that he really responds and says those things through signs. I found that so inspirational. He said they may put Painter (that’s the son’s name) in a Spanish and English preschool.
October 5, 2003
I was supposed to leave Sydney with Candida, the Brazilian woman who was going to look after her on Tuesdays but she had to cancel because the other people she babysits for weren’t happy for her to have another child and she’s had those people forever. I am bummed. Where else will I find someone? I don’t want to just put her in any daycare where she’ll only be exposed to English because already she gets so little time in Portuguese and she has that type of exposure already one hour a day in the YMCA nursery.
October 7, 2003
I’ve decided not to correct Sydney’s English on things like when she says things like “clock” for “watch” (they are the same word in Portuguese) or for saying “up and down” when she wants down (I think she learned a song at the YMCA that says “up and down” and now she uses the expression for either command instead of just asking “up” or “down” when she wants in or out of her stroller or highchair. I think a normal English speaking mom would say, “you mean ‘down’” when she says “up and down” to say she wants down from her high chair.
Oh, speaking of which, the funniest thing happened today (wasn’t really funny at the time). I had to go to the foot dr. for new insoles. The room was tiny once it was filled with Sydney, her stroller, her toys and such and the Dr. came in with his hot water and bandages to make a cast mold of my feet. After my feet looked like a mummy’s, he said emphatically, “Now don’t move until I get back.” I had Sydney in my lap and thought, “Right, Doc, with a toddler, I’m not supposed to move.” He was gone for so long that Sydney started screaming “up and down!” for me to let her down to play. I let her down and she stepped on the mechanism that makes the chair lift. Except instead of going slowly, it was moving REALLY fast. I thought at first, “it’ll stop in a second or two” but it just kept going up until my head was nearly touching the ceiling.
I had no where to jump in that cluttered room and considering I’m pregnant with casted feet, it would NOT been pretty if I had tried. I started screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Sydney was screaming and crying because she had a sense that something was going wrong. The Dr. and two nurses burst into the room. Their heads at first were pointed in the direction where the chair SHOULD have been, but their heads shot up simultaneously to the ceiling in looks of horror. One nurse had to practically step on Sydney to make the chair stop.
As I was coming down (in hysterics, really-- crying and laughing at the same time), they were saying, “I can’t believe it goes up that high!” They were very apologetic (genuinely. but with a hint of fear of a lawsuit) and worried that Sydney had been traumatized. But as I put her in her stroller , instead of showing her usual resistance, she just smiled as she yelled, “Up and Down! Up and Down!”
October 7, 2003
I’ve decided not to correct Sydney’s English on things like when she says things like “clock” for “watch” (they are the same word in Portuguese) or for saying “up and down” when she wants down (I think she learned a song at the YMCA that says “up and down” and now she uses the expression for either command instead of just asking “up” or “down” when she wants in or out of her stroller or highchair. I think a normal English speaking mom would say, “you mean ‘down’” when she says “up and down” to say she wants down from her high chair.
Oh, speaking of which, the funniest thing happened today (wasn’t really funny at the time). I had to go to the foot dr. for new insoles. The room was tiny once it was filled with Sydney, her stroller, her toys and such and the Dr. came in with his hot water and bandages to make a cast mold of my feet. After my feet looked like a mummy’s, he said emphatically, “Now don’t move until I get back.” I had Sydney in my lap and thought, “Right, Doc, with a toddler, I’m not supposed to move.” He was gone for so long that Sydney started screaming “up and down!” for me to let her down to play. I let her down and she stepped on the mechanism that makes the chair lift. Except instead of going slowly, it was moving REALLY fast. I thought at first, “it’ll stop in a second or two” but it just kept going up until my head was nearly touching the ceiling. I had no where to jump in that cluttered room and considering I’m pregnant with casted feet, it would NOT been pretty if I had tried. I started screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Sydney was screaming and crying because she had a sense that something was going wrong. The Dr. and two nurses burst into the room. Their heads at first were pointed in the direction where the chair SHOULD have been, but their heads shot up simultaneously to the ceiling in looks of horror. One nurse had to practically step on Sydney to make the chair stop. As I was coming down (in hysterics, really-- crying and laughing at the same time), they were saying, “I can’t believe it goes up that high!” They were very apologetic (genuinely. but with a hint of fear of a lawsuit) and worried that Sydney had been traumatized. But as I put her in her stroller , instead of showing her usual resistance, she just smiled as she yelled, “Up and Down! Up and Down!”
October 8, 2003
Today at Bible study, Sandra’s middle-school aged daughter was home from school. I noticed that Sandra speaks Portuguese to her, but her daughter responds mainly in English. The daughter was also speaking English to Sydney, until I asked her to speak Portuguese to her. After this request, she was also trying to speak Portuguese to me and to her mother when I was around. She has an accent but speaks well. I’ll call Sandra and ask her about Livia’s progress with the language here in a few days. (See Sandra 12/02/03 transcript).
October 14, 2003
Lately Sydney has been translating what I say into English. My best friend Judy is in town from New York, Sydney’s been hearing much more English than normal. Tonight she asked me “Where Judy” and I told her, “Ela esta tomando banho” (She’s taking a bath/shower) and Sydney repeated in English “Judy take shower” back to me.
October 15, 2003
Today at Bible study Marlene told us about how emotional she got when she realized her son was learning English and Portuguese. Her son was around 4 years old and they were taking off in a plane. He saw a bridge and kept saying “ponte” (bridge) in Portuguese but no one understood his pronunciation. Finally he said, “Bridge!” and they got it.
October 16, 2003
I met Patricia Garcia for the first time today. She was recommended as a babysitter for Sydney by another Brazilian friend. She’ll keep Sydney on Tuesdays while I work (and, since I’m pregnant, while I take a nap!). It was so fun to have someone around who got excited when Sydney said things because she understood. Patricia told me that she only watches Brazilian tv and only eats Brazilian food for lunch. She says if she goes for more than a day or two without a Brazilian lunch, she starts to literally feel sick. I was pleased that she’s not so Americanized.
Candida ,the woman who was originally going to keep Sydney, is married to an American and is very Americanized to the point that she doesn’t even really realize when she’s speaking English. I feel much better about having Patricia with Sydney. I thought, after I get to know her better, I’ll ask her if she’s interested in trading a question each week—meaning, since she’s studying English, she could ask me a question she has about some English word or expression she can’t find or pronounce or whatever and I’ll do the same with her. I also plan to ask her to work on things with Sydney. If I’ve been working on colors with her for instance, I’ll ask Patricia to reinforce that with her time with Sydney.
October 19, 2003
Sydney is definitely separating the languages more. She said, “hand” to Stephen but “mao” (“hand”) to me. She was saying “balde (bucket)” to me but with her dad, she said, “bucket.” She also separates the two words for tree, depending on which of us she’s addressing.
October 25, 2003
Sydney’s saying so many new words a day that I can hardly keep up with my list. Still not sure my in-laws approve of the bilingual deal. Stephen says he thinks they do, but my gut says they just tolerate it. Some of my mother-in-law’s ideas on language learning I don’t agree with, but I’m afraid to get too deep into a conversation about it. For example, she said that at the school where she taught elementary school, they say you have to hear something 50 times for it to become a part of your vocabulary. But really, it depends on what the language MEANS to you, what they word stands for in your life. If the word is for a food the child loves, I think maybe once or twice they’ll hear it and have it down pat. That type of thinking is what made for bad teaching methodologies in the 60’s where it was all mindless repetition or already written dialogues instead of real communication that’s relevant. I’m not in any way saying my mother-in-law is a bad teacher, however---she taught elementary school for 30 years and I’m sure was fantastic….just differences of opinion on this one topic.
October 26, 2003
I was visiting my niece Anna Corinne ,and my sister-in -aw asked me to say something in Portuguese to Anna Corinne. Sydney was playing on her own on the other side of the room. As soon as I said something in Portuguese, she whipped her head around, as if to say, “Yes? Talking to me?” Sydney did that while I was on the phone once too because I was speaking in Portuguese, she assumed I was talking to her.
October 29, 2003
Today Sydney was ready for bed and wasn’t hungry for lunch. I think she was just too tired to eat. She kept saying “cama cama” (“bed” “bed”), but I didn’t understand her pronunciation (and she’s never said that word in Portuguese before, preferring to use “bed”). Finally with desperation in her voice she said, “Cama bed!” So already the language is serving a real communicative function for her. She also switched to saying “abobora” (pumpkin) when I didn’t understand her pronunciation of her English “pumpkin.” So it’s interesting to see she used it both ways.
October 30, 2003
Sydney is really separating the languages etter and better. She said, “polvo-octopus” (“Octopus octopus”) for Stephen, as if “in case you didn’t get this with the first word, I’ll give it to you in your language.” And she uses the English word for floor with Stephen but the Portuguese one for it with me. Same with the sneezing sound “achew” for Stephen “achim” with me.
October 31, 2003
Again Sydney was translating. When I didn’t understand her pronunciation of “beijo,” she said, “kiss!”
I was at the YMCA picking up Sydney and I heard a woman speaking Portuguese to her daughter. I asked if she’s Brazilian (she is) and we talked for some time. She gave me her number and said she’s really interested in the Brazilian playgroup I want to start. Her name is Gloria Fountain and her daughter is Bria. She also gave me a phone number of a man named Tulio because he keeps up a Brazilian newletter with happenings that are Brazilian related here in Chapel Hill. She said there are many Brazilians in Chapel Hill. I’ve started a list of possible people to come to the playgroup.
November 1, 2003
Conjugations of verbs for Sydney has been difficult, something I never really thought about. In English the first and second verb endings are the same: So it’s “I go”, “you go” and the command form is “Go!” but in Portuguese they are often different. So she hears me giving commands generally or she hears me asking HER questions in which case I use second person “you” verb forms. Therefore, the form she personally needs to use the most, the first person, she rarely hears.
In a first language situation, this would be easier to pick up because you would hear the mother talking to the father using first person, but in our case she rarely hears it. I’ve decided, therefore to try to talk more about what I like, want, feel. So instead of, “Are you cold?” I say, “I’m cold. Are you cold?” So she’ll hear both verb forms.
Another things that’s really more of a cultural difference is using the word “please.” Portuguese speakers think it’s funny how often second language speakers of Portuguese use “por favor” though those who have lived in English speaking countries understand it is because the word “please” is very commonly used in English and that the foreigners in their country are simply translating “please” to “por favor.” And the words do have the same meaning but “por favor” isn’t used as much, instead you use a polite tone of voice or have a pleasant look on your face when you make a request and the “please” is therefore not necessary. I’ve notice that Sydney says “please” when she’s speaking English, but never “por favor.” I realized it’s because I hardly ever use it (I’ve purposely tried to use it less, ever since a Brazilian brought it to my attention that I needn’t say it so much). I do want her to say please with every request however, regardless of which language she is using, because we are living in this country where that is expected, and since it’s not rude to overuse it in Brazil (just a bit off, repetitive), why not? So now when she asks for something, I repeat her request with “Por favor?” at the end and she repeats the “Por favor” (though it’s hard for her to say).
November 2, 2003
Sydney often uses the “switch to the other language” when she’s not getting what she wants first try. Today she was in her stroller as we took a walk with her Daddy. She requested a leaf to play with and no one really responded. Then she used the word in Portuguese, “folha!” and of course, I was so happy that she was using Portuguese, that I readily gave her one.
November 4, 2003
Sydney just loves Patricia, the Brazilian woman she’s staying with on Tuesdays. She is young, around 25 or younger, tiny and energetic, and is just like a live doll for Sydney to play with. I picked her up at 6:00 pm and Sydney was happily playing in the floor while Allen, Patricia’s husband (also Brazilian) watched the news on tv (in Portuguese—they have a dish with a Brazilian channel). Allen said, “I taught her to say apple in Portuguese” and he was just delighted. I noticed that evening she was much more wiling to repeat things I say in Portuguese, whereas before I often got frustrated because she was more willing to repeat things Stephen said. (And she said the word “maca” (“apple”) in Portuguese for the first time, whereas before she always said the word in English.) I also notice that she has a Portuguese accent in English on words that before she said perfectly. She puts a long “e” sound on the ends of words like book, truck, sock, and bag so they come out “book-ee, truck-ee” just as many Brazilians do when speaking English. It’s really pretty funny.
There have been several times when she says things in Portuguese and no strangers outside our home understand and it’s really for the best. This morning for example, we were at the mall and she saw a woman who was quite overweight with bushy black hair going everywhere. She yelled out and pointed at the woman saying, “Bruxa!” (witch!)
November 7, 2003
As far as the correcting when she says something incorrect in English, I decided just to let it go. I remember in graduate school in first language acquisition courses that research shows that kids don’t really respond well to direct correction, that they pick up the correct pronunciation and grammar by hearing it correctly modeled. Since I know eventually Sydney will hear us say “spoon” instead of calling it a “phone” enough times that it’ll stick, (Or Stephen can directly correct her, if he wants to.) I’ve decided to not worry with the whole, “Daddy calls this a …” Most times she just looks at me like, “Daddy? Where’s Daddy” and gets upset that he’s at work. So her focus is never really on the spoon at all. Plus, I think it’s better, more consistent, if I only speak Portuguese.
November 10, 2003
At the futon store the guy selling us the bed asked what language I was speaking to Sydney and said that his dad spoke German but quit speaking it to him when he was a boy. He says he really regrets his dad quitting. I really want to prevent that when I can.
Talked to my friend/interviewee, Debbie today. She lives with her 3 children in California and is homeschooling her oldest, Chase in kindergarten this year. I asked if she was doing any languages and she said she was considering French, because she can speak it somewhat. She was an English as a Second Language teacher before having the children, so she knows how people learn language, and she has a masters in Foreign Language Education so she knows all the methodology behind language learning. She asked for advice on how to get started so I gave her some hints and some papers to read.
She emailed me later all excited to get started. I’ll keep up with their progress. It’ll be neat to watch. It made me feel good that she was so thrilled. I think her main doubt was her own language skills but once you point out that the parent’s skill can grow with the child, staying just one step ahead of the kid, they understand that it’s possible.
November 11, 2003
Another problem with the verb conjugation is that often I’m responding to what Sydney’s just said, but she thinks I’m correcting her and she “corrects” what she’s just said (making it wrong because it was right the first time). She’ll say for example “Nao sei” which is “I don’t know” and I’ll say, “Voce nao sabe?” (“You don’t know?”) and she’ll respond “I don’t know” using the second person “know” form she just heard me use but of course, that form is incorrect whereas the form she used the first time was perfect. Same thing happens with the verb to “see” The only even close example I could give for this in English would have to involve the first and third person since the second person is identical to the first person and thus doesn’t cause this confusion in English.
Sydney: I see it!”
Mother: And he sees it.
Sydney: I sees it.
Only, the difference in the verb endings are more pronounced in Portuguese than just the one letter difference you saw in the above example.
November 11, 2003
Sometimes I get so frustrated with the dictionary. I will look up a word like “rake” (the verb form of “to rake” ) and there isn’t any real word for it listed. I asked some Brazilian friends and they didn’t know. It stands to reason since in Brazil they just don’t have a word for raking because they don’t have to gather leaves to rake leaves- not many deciduous trees. I’m never sure what to do when there just isn’t a word for it so I just say, “juntar folhas” (gather the leaves) and that’ll have to do.
November 15, 2003
Sydney amazes me switching from one language to the other in a matter of seconds. She lost her goat puzzle piece about 2 months ago and continues searching for it as if her life depended on it. She asked me about where the “cabra’ piece was and when I said I didn’t know she looked to Stephen and asked for her “goat.”
November 17, 2003
Again translating quickly. Sydney and I were walking and she has just pointed out an “abobora” (pumpkin) on someone’s doorstep to me when a neighbor walked up and greeted me. She turned to the neighbor and said, “Pumpkin!”
November 22, 2003
Another example of translating, Sydney started this game months ago where she touches your nose and says, “nose.” Today she did it to Stephen then turned to me and said, “Nariz.”
November 22, 2003
I was talking with Judy, a woman in her early 60’s who does water aerobics with me. She was telling me about her year or 2 in France. Her husband spoke the language fluently but she was struggling with it because, she explained, she hated to feel like a child or feel stupid. She said that then, one day, she has a linguistic epiphany while at the butcher’s. She thought to herself, “What do I care what the butcher things of me, I just want some meat.” And she said she just went ahead and asked for what she wanted and got it. “It was a real breakthrough and I became bolder at parties and social gatherings whereas before I just let my husband do the talking. You just can’t worry so much what people think.”
November 29, 2003
An old friend came in town today with their 2 children. Their little boy was fascinated by my speaking Portuguese to Sydney and loves to say any words to me he knows in Italian. He's in the 1st grade, I would imagine. He's learned some of his Italian, my friend told me, through children’s books she has him translate. To be honest, I think the time would be better used simply read them in the language, there’s no need to write out the translation into English. (What she’s asking thim to do is “Grammar Translation”, a method still taught in Foreign Language Teacher Training Textbooks).
We went out to eat with another couple. My friend's son asked, “Do you know everything in Portuguese? I told him I still had to look up words. Then, there, there at the table, he started counting in Italian. He knows the words like “twenty, thirty, forty, etc. so it went on and on. It was great! Funny though, it was obvious to me that some at the table were uncomfortable with his counting, which I found fascinating. What is it about speaking another language that we find so strange?. It reminds me of how people bristle when you say the words “Jesus” or other controversial subject like “abortion” or something. Finally, his dad said, “That’s enough.”
November 30, 2003
We celebrated Sydney’s birthday early since John and Sara are here. They gave her this purple stuffed dog and asked what she wanted to name it. Since she didn’t respond, I thought, “might as well name it something that’ll teach her a word” so I said, “how about ‘Roxo’?” which means “Purple” in Portuguese. The kids loved the name because they said it sounded like “Horseshoe” and gladly called it “Roxo” from then on. No one called the dog by any other name. Then a couple of days later, she brought the dog to Stephen and called it “Purple!” Stephen and I were both really surprised by that because we were both certain no one had called it that before.
December 2, 2003
It’s been great having Sydney at Patricia’s. Sydney’s been quick to learn to count to 10 in Portuguese but not to learn her colors, which she knows in English. So I asked Patricia to work on them with her and to work on “please”. I think Patricia enjoys being more than just a babysitter and Sydney’s making great strides.
December 3, 2003
Today at the lunch after Bible study. The Brazilian ladies were saying they don’t think it’s a good idea, if you’re trying to raise your child to speak the language, to respond to them when they speak to you in English. They said they just make the effort to stop and ask the child to speak in Portuguese, which of course gets tough once they start school. They said otherwise their skills are listening only-- not speaking. I am going to make more of an effort to start that now so it’s habit once Sydney’s in school but at the same time, I don’t want, later on, the language to become a huge burden for her such that she doesn’t want to converse with me once she’s home from school. My relationship with her takes priority over her learning the language.
December 4, 2003
I was doing some reading in a new book I’m reading---Carey Myles' "Raising Bilingual Children”. She confirms what the Brazilians were saying about not responding unless addressed in the language you are teaching.
When in public, I never know which language to use with Sydney when asking her to say something like “say thank you” or “say goodbye” (the latter is always easier because everyone understands “tchau”).
December 5, 2003
12/5/03
Today I was asking Sydney something about church and she wasn’t responding. I wasn’t sure she knew the Portuguese word for church so I asked her “Como Daddy diria igreja?” (How would daddy say church?) and she responded, “church” I was so pleased.
Also, this morning she was in bed with us as we all were waking up slowly and she was counting her fingers in English (skipping a number here and there). I asked her to now count like mamae counts, and she counted them in Portuguese (again skipping a number here and there). She never mixes the languages when counting.
She’s separating the languages better in general too, I’ve noticed. I have been asking her to say this word in Portuguese and she repeats the word I ask her to say. Here soon, I’ll try simply saying, “O que?” until she responds in Portuguese, but for now, it seems a bit early to do that.
Sydney turns 2 tomorrow.
