August 2009 of James 5, Sydney 7 years

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August 10, 2009

I inadvertently found a good way to tell the kids stories in Portuguese. I'm reading a really interesting book that's okay for kids to read with some editing. (Life of Pi) So I've been telling the kids about what's happening as I read the book (not actually while reading, but bit by bit). If I forget to tell them, they remind me and really get into the story. The ending was very strange-- something a book club or lit class could discuss for hours. I asked her questions about how she'd interpret what happened and such. It was a bit over their heads at times but it was fun just talking about it and good for their Portuguese.

August 20, 2009

So I bought that set of books on sex. They are God based and talk about how sex is a gift from God and such. I just decided to translate the book, but on the actual pages so the kids can still see the pictures. So far so good. They keep wondering what I'm going and I leave it as a little mystery they can see later on.

August 24, 2009

This past weekend was the 5 year anniversary of the Brazilian restaurant CHAMAS in Durham (a nearby town). We'd eaten in the resturant and it was pricey but good. For the party, it was half price on food and promised to have fun for all ages. Stela is now working at the restaurant as a hostess and she assured us people would be dressed up, that there would be little kids dressed up and dancing together. Sydney was so excited. We bought stuff at Goodwill for all of us to wear. The theme was "June Festivals" where Brazilians play music from the interior (the countryfied part) and wear redneck clothes. I wore a wig. Anyway so she said to come at 2:00 because the dancing would be shortly thereafter. We did--we went all dressed up with hats and such, but when we got there, we were the only ones dressed funny (aside from the wait staff who HAD to wear the stuff). In any case we had a nice lunch, but no dancing. After a couple of hours we asked Stela about it. She kept saying it would only be a few more minutes. We waited, paying out bill and moving to the waiting room. Then after that, she said we should just go somewhere and come back at 5:30 for the music. I could have strangled her. It was hot like crazy outside so the wig got ditched.

We had seen some other kids there at lunch and Sydney was excited to return and dance. There's a special sort of square dance you do with a partner for June Festivals and Stela had told her about it and they'd watched videos about.

Stephen vaguely remembered these festas fm our honeymoon where people partied all hours of the night, but that was on our honeymoon in Brazil in a small town where we stayed until our flight was ready to go somewhere big. We didn't know how baudy the whole theme of the party could get. So when it was time to start the music, they said they were going to do a little show first. I remembered reading how one of the Saints honored in the festival was St John, patron saint of marriage, and that sometimes reinactions of weddings are performed. So, that's what happened today.

Much odder than I'd expected. We were all so tired and sick of the restaurant that it made sense to just go home but when that was mentioned, Sydney got all upset and wanted to stay for the dancing. So we killed time. When we got back to CHAMAS, the restaurant had more people but fewer children. They did this mock wedding where the man was the bride and the woman was the man. There was a very drunk priest stumbling around with his bottle of cachaca. The "bride" had a pillow in his belly area to look about 8 months pregnant. A man was trying to break apart th wedding saying that the woman was "his" and that he had fathered many children by her. Then they had a little group of like 2 or 3 kids and herded James into the group. The man pointed to the children and there was some argument over whose they were. James was happy just to be a part of things. I looked at Stephen sheepishly. It just wasn't really a place for kids.

The dancing started and there were no kids dancing, just James and Sydney were lined up. The music and caller (like a square dance caller) were piped in and hard to hear so everyone was a little unsure of what to do when. Sydney had barely begun before she pulled her partner (Stephen out). James loved it though. Everyone was giggling at him b/c he was so small that I lost him during some of the tunnel moves (where others make a tunnel by holding up their arms touching their partner's held up arms). But at the end, we scooted out the door b/c Sydney looked so sad. She started crying. She said it wasn't right what she'd been told. That I'd said there would be other kids. That STela said there would be kids dancing in a circle. That there weren't other kids dancing so that everyone was looking at her. I had to stifle a laugh here b/c she was wearing this crazy costume that fit the occasion, but still, of course people are going to look at her! I told her she was going to need to expect less, or at least be more flexible in her expectations. She said, "So, I'm supposed to think, 'ok, this party is going to have bad food and no one to play with and we're not going to have fun!'" I was thinking, "well, sort of". I tried to explain the balance in too high and too low expectations, but the only thing I think she got out of the frustration was to wish less and get less excited. That made me sad. Also, I wanted to strangle Stela b/c she was the one who kept insisting we stay for the dancing.

August 25, 2009

So for the second day in a row, it's been an issue over whether to have James tested for his English. What the hell? It's making my friend who teaches ESL so frustrated because she knows his English is fine, of course. But because on some paperwork I said that one parent speaks a second language exclusively to the child, they assume the child has to be tested. Waste of time and resources and shows just how behind this huge rich highly educated country is in the area of languages.

August 26, 2009

Sydney had a playdate with a buddy of hers. In the car, her friend Hannah kept wanting Sydney to interpret any little thing I said to Sydney. So I'd say, "Did you remember your lunch bag?" and Sydney's friend would say, "What? What did she say to you, Sydney?" Finally Sydney said, "Hannah, one thing you have to understand, is that what we say is never important."

August 27, 2009

I'd spoken once again to my friend who's the ESL teacher at the kids' elementary school about how silly the whole testing-James-on-his-English-just-because-his-paperwork-said-he-spoke-a-2nd-language-with-his-mother thing is. I told Stephen about our talk and James heard us and, having heard his name involved, wanted all the details. At one point, Stephen asked "James, how's your English?" He said indignantly, "My English is better than my Portuguese!" We both cracked up. That seemed very meta-aware for a kid of 5 years.

August 29, 2009

So I finished translating the book on teaching about sex to small children. Took it to the kids to read and James was disinterested. Sydney stuck with it. It really wasn't all that interesting b/c it spoken in generalities and had sort of lame pictures. But it was a good start for children under 5. I'm now translating the one for 6-8 year olds. It's a little more mature and they'll find it more interesting. There are 2 more after that but they're for middle school years so I have awhile on those. I never thought when I planned to speak Portuguese to the kids that I'd be translating children's sex educational books. The things we do for love.

August 30, 2009

Oh happy day! I've talked it over with Stephen and he's good with the idea of going to Brazil next summer. This is something I've wanted to do for a couple of years now and I think it'll be great. It'll be a different trip from a regular "vacation". I look at it as if we had family in Brazil we were going to visit. More of a people-oriented trip. Also, in our case, having the kids surrounded by Portuguese will be so important. And resources!! Oh my gosh, I'm taking an empty suitcase that'll be filled when we come back. I don't know where we're going to go. I'd planned earlier to go to the south, since we haven't spent any time there. But now I'm trying to gear the trip more to Stephen (who will only join us for part of the time) so I'd want some good diving. That's in the south too but mainly in the north that time of year b/c it'll be winter and it gets chilly in the south in August. Also, everyone tells me that the south is so different, so much more European. (Many immigrated there along with Japanese families, during the war and stayed, had descendants, etc. so there are heaps of blond families and many Brazilians assume any Asian is Japanese.

I should back that statement up with at least an anecdote or two. My friend Vorakarn in Thai and lived in Brazil for 3 years. His Portuguese is quite good, so I can imagine he'd be perceived as someone who lives in Brazil, not someone there short term. Anyway, people were always calling him, "Japa". (I'm pretty sure it isn't as strong and offensive as it sounds in English..."Jap" would be fightin' words here in the US, just really disrespectful and negative.) Anyway so later when we were back in the States eating at a Brazilian restaurant in North Carolina, the waiter referred to Vorakarn as "Japa". I'd never seen Vorakarn really angry before and it was interesting to watch. His face got red and he was obviously working hard to control his anger. He said, calmly, however, (and in Portuguese), "I am Thai. I am from Thailand. Everyone who is from Asia is not Japanese." I'll never forget that. I nearly swallowed my fork tines trying not to laugh.