August of James 2 1/2- 3 Years, Sydney 4 1/2- 5 Years, Mariana 17 Years, Montegnard Family of 8
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August 13, 2006
Mariana arrived last week. It all happened so fast. One day, I was talking about taking a Brazilian student, because a lady at church mentioned that 3 students needed homes. Then, boom, she was on her way to the States to stay with us.
She was soooo tired when she first go in and mainly just slept at first. I was so excited to meet her. The kids already took to her, especially James. The first and second day when I was getting her registered for high school (she’s staying a full school year), I wondered if I’d made the right decision—like, oh no, this is a lot of work! But she’s just so fun and with the Portuguese, it’s like having someone to sing with.
Stephen’s seems to be having a tough time. I can’t blame him because all of a sudden there’s an extra family member and the attention is spread out more. He’s having to work to get her set up (setting up her computer, getting the antennae for her t.v. set up (it didn’t work right and so for now we have no channels (etc.), but he’s adapting well as always. Open minded, thank God.
We set the rules as far as cleaning up and such. She’s not big on that, but I figure that her main deal help will be in watching the kids fm time to time. She’s agreed to speak only Portuguese to the kids and me. That was the prerequisite for her living here and she seems ok with it, but hasn’t learned a lot of English. When school starts that will change.
The high school she’s going to is super difficult. Has a really good reputation. Some kids who graduate say the first year of college is a total breeze afterwards. Many Ph.D.s as teachers and such.
It’s great to have someone to correct me. She said Sydney has a little American accent.
She hugs and kisses us whenever she leaves or goes to sleep-it’s just so sweet. I want my kids to grow up in that kind of culture. It’s kinda cool how we can bring it here to the states in the form of a sweet teenager.
After only a few days, I notice the kids speaking more Portuguese. Also, mine flows more freely.
August 19, 06
I really screwed up. Didn’t realize how the comments I wrote about my brother and sister-in-law came out sounding so critical. My sister-in-law Sara read them and found them offensive. I’m not sure what to do now. I’ll call her and see if she wants the things I said taken down or what. I am pretty sure when I told her about the wiki comments that I mentioned, “Keep in mind these were my impressions early on- in 2002- and that they’ve changed since then. I just feel awful about it-wouldn’t hurt her for the world! And really, of late they have been so supportive. Ugh! Some days, I wish I could just hit “rewind.” I need a remote control for my big mouth.
August 20, 2006
Talked to Sara and felt just so bad. She said, “I thought you liked me more.” I wanted to cry. I took anything critical off. Lesson learned for me, I guess.
August 21, 2006
Today Mariana, the kids and I are going to the Montegnard family’s home and 2 of the elementary school teachers are meeting us there to get to know Phok and Sam before school starts. I was so impressed that teachers would do that.
I look so forward to seeing the these kids. Have been trying to decide what to work on with them. I’d love to make a “Go Fish” game with the numbers 12-20. They already know 1-10 fairly well, at least enough to recite them and such. Or we could work more on colors and learn the ones like, “pink” and “grey.” There’s always so much that needs to be taught that it’s seriously daunting.
Sydney and James now look forward to going so that’s great! Chau (middle school age) has been a little sick so hopefully he’s recovered by now. I would think all the allergens and bacteria they’re not used to are just bombarding them because several have been sick. It’s hard to do the whole western medicine deal because it’s so different from what they’re used to. One woman on our “team” confiscated the children’s Tylenol because she felt they were giving too much to the children. I thinkt that was the right thing to do, but it’s so hard to make those decisions since these are adults but culturally, they are like children. It would be like if someone dropped me off in the desert and said, “Ok, good luck surviving.”
The whole immunization deal was tough on them too…can you imagine getting a shot and having no idea why? The man who took them to the clinic said they were so stoic, though, most didn’t even cry and there were many shots (2 days worth).
I feel like my Portuguese is really improving with Mariana here. She’s great about correcting my errors and I feel like my verbs flow along now much better. She brought all this cool Brazilian rock that we listen to in the car. The kids already know the words to several songs. The kids Portuguese has definitely improved. My in-laws are here for the weekend and the first day they arrived, one of them left the room where James was and said to him, “bye!” He pointed at her and said, in a sort of correcting tone, “Tchau!” We all laughed.
I love how Mariana, like many Brazilians I’ve known, is so affectionate. She’ll just come up from behind you and hug you and of course you get a kiss coming and going anywhere. James especially is nuts for her. Today when Lois (my mother in law), Mariana, and Sydney came home from an excursion, James said, “Mamae” and ran into my arms. Then he ran right past Lois to hug Mariana. I felt a little bad for Lois because I know how that feels (if Stephen’s behind me, James runs straight by me to his daddy…it’s not the best ego booster).
I think the past 2 weeks have been a huge adjustment for Mariana especially in that she hasn’t met young people to hang out with. Stella (who used to be our Brazilian babysitter but quit because she found some interior decorating jobs) called the other day to see how Mariana was doing. She suggested Mariana go out with her son (who’s a little older but not by much) and his girlfriend and some other friends of theirs. She said otherwise Mariana will just stay on the computer talking to her friends from Brazil. (I got chill bumps because I was like, “How does she knows that’s how Mariana spends so much of her time??). Anyway so I passed to phone to Mariana and once the details of going out were worked through, she was so excited.
She asked, “Can I go?” I sort of wanted to look behind me to see if she was asking some older, wiser sterner woman behind me, because as far as I’m concerned, “Yeah, go for it! Why not?” I just really don’t feel 20 years her senior. They left around 9:30 pm and I was so excited for her but also scared like a mom is. I knew who she was going with and think the world of Stella’s son, but still it was like sending her out into the unknown. I need a crash course in being a teen’s mom. Thursday evening I go to a new parents orientation for her high school Should be enlightening…since I don’t have a clue. I think the rule will basically be that I need to know the people she’s going out with. If she sleeps over at someone’s house (girls only of course), I need to talk to their parents first. Is that too strict? Sounds reasonable to me. My parents didn’t let me go to parties where the parents were out of town and I used to get SSSOOOO mad. Looking back, though, it kept me out of a lot of trouble.
Ran into Gloria and Bria today. They’d just gotten back from Brazil. Bria was speaking Portuguese so well after their 2 months in Brazil. It was amazing and so encouraging. She’s Sydney’s same age and I’ve mentioned before Gloria’s frustration that she won’t speak back in Portuguese eventhough Gloria’s been consistent in addressing her in Portuguese. I’d asked Gloria to buy some books and books on tape and videos and she came back with some great stuff.
I would love to take Sydney to Brazil this next summer. Would love to go to Manaus and visit Mariana’s family. They seem so sweet, from what I’ve learned on the phone and through emails. Then perhaps we could go to a beach…domestic flights there are so pricy, but it’d be nice to see some different things.
With my church I’ve been working on this project for a Favela (shantytown is the best way to describe it in English…unsafe living conditions as concerns landslides, water conditions, crime, etc.) in Salvador. So who knows, I may go there. Someone asked me if I’d take Sydney there (to the favela). I would like to. I want her to know that Brazil isn’t just this rich country like the people we tend to meet here in the States. It’s scary to think of kidnappings and such though.
August 22, 2006
Visited the Siu family (I don’t like calling them the Montegnard family). Set up a clipboard inside the “education closet” to keep in communication with the tutors and give some ESL ideas. The girls’ teachers and their other ESL teacher came to meet us at the house, which was just fantastic. I took pictures with each kid and their teacher, then developed them and put them on a sheet with “Pok and Mr. Stong” and such. Gave them extra copies to use for artwork (they are actually color copies—so cheap, so good!).
More teachers came than I expected so that was great. The second ESL teacher, Suzanne Musuk.. I was surprised to find that not only she came to their house, but also Pok’s teacher Brad Strong, Be’s Linda Kirby, and Sam’s teacher Ms. “K.” That meeting was so amazing to me- this will sound so corny, but seriously it gave me such hope for public education and for change in future generations. E.K. Powe, the elementary school, is in Durham, in an area that’s considered somewhat dangerous as far as crime is concerned. So I’ve heard it labeled, “not one of the better schools.” Ridiculous! If these teachers were any indication, the school is full of intelligent, caring instructors who take time out of their day to actually go to a child’s HOME. We discussed how to best help the children. Suzanne offered to meet the girls at the house on their first morning of school, walk them to the bus stop and ride the bus to school with them- to and from school. I had to hold back tears when I heard this.
At one point, Ms. K asked if the mom, Bop, had any questions for us. Bop and Do (the 19 year old) and the children’s whose teachers were present had been standing around the table all during the meeting. Bop has almost nil English skills so I asked Do to translate (his skills are quite rusty too, so you never really know if he’s even understood what you’ve asked him to translate). I said, “Would you ask Bop if she has any questions for the teacher?” He relayed something to her in Jurai (or Vietnamese…I have trouble telling them apart…Jurai is a dialect basically) and she responded so oddly. She smiled an embarrassed smile and the children did the same, some giggling. The children immediately ran from the room, looking back only to giggle, like they’d been let in on a secret that kids their age shouldn’t hear about. I have no idea what he said to her and can’t really even imagine. Needless to say, Bop didn’t ask questions to any of the teachers there.
Mariana (foreign exchange student from Brazil) was so sweet. She played with my kids and the Siu kids in the next room. She taught them to play Candyland (she wasn’t even sure how to play…not a Brazilian game) but she hung in there like a trooper. She had to fend Thah off of my son James. They are the same age but Than likes to beat up on James. Mariana protected as best as possible.
This family is surrounded by so much love, so many people who want them to learn the language and feel comfortable in the crazy culture of the US. They are so willing to accept new people into their lives, to learn new everything.. They will go far.
August 23,2006
Went to the school open house for the Siu family…the elementary one for Phok, Be and Sam. It was so fun seeing how an elementary school works these days. The girls seemed happy, not too nervous. They are very good with, “I am fine thank you” but said little else. The school’s pretty old and rundown but the teachers seem so enthusiastic and the bulletin boards on the walls are so cute. I’m so impressed with their teachers and their level of personal interest. I haven’t contacted the ESL coordinator for Brogden because I’m waiting to get that from Powe’s ESL teacher. Plus I’ve been sort of hands-off with the older boys, assuming Steve (another man on the project) is taking them under his wing. Allen works with the boys quite a bit too, so I don’t think I’m all that needed.
We had some time for “home schooling” when we got back. I’d brought M & Ms to work on colors, numbers, and commands. I would put out like 4 blue M and Ms and say, “H’Sam, please pick up 3 M& Ms. We’d then more on to color and they’d have to choose the yellow M & Ms. What they picked up they were instructed to eat or give to another student (eat 2 and give one to Mariana). I wasn’t too sure if they liked the M & M’s because sometimes when I’d ask them to eat them, they’d just hide them behind their backs. They didn’t like the chocolate chip cookies I brought them either…I think the whole refined sugar deal just isn’t in their normal diet. That’s good! We practiced stuff like “line up” “walk slowly” “speak quietly” and such because these were things Alice Ann, one of the ESL teachers at E.K. Powe , said would be helpful.
I wanted to do something active using numbers, so Mariana and I decided on hopscotch. We searched the house top-to-bottom and couldn’t find chalk or masking tape. Mariana found a black washable crayon and used it to draw the hopscotch board on the front porch. We played until we were just too hot . Mariana tried to wipe off the board from the porch – the one we’d printed in black crayon. Guess what—it wouldn’t come off. I looked at the bright side—now, they can play hopscotch whenever they want.
August 24, 2006
Went to the parents meeting at the high school for Mariana. I’d been sick and ended up leaving early. It was interesting, the part I heard. I asked about the dress code. No spaghetti straps, no camisoles. I showed both to Mariana to let her know and she was like, “Oh no, that’s what I wear!” We’ll do some shopping this weekend. Also suggested she get a cell phone because she was supposed to call us at noon for a ride home today, but didn’t contact us until 4:30. I was a little worried and told her I need to know where she is.
Sometimes Sydney is jealous of the attention I give to Mariana. Mariana’s so animated when she gets in from school or any activity that, of cours,e I pay attention. She’s just a doll. I’ll make a concerted effort to pay more attention to Sydney. Also, earlier I mentioned clean up being a problem…lately Mariana’s been unloading and loading the dishwasher without being asked and it’s such a help. We’re all adjusting.
August 25, 06
First day of school for Mariana. She was so excited! It was an easy day, just meeting teachers and other students. She took the camera and took pictures of the school to show friends/family at home. I love hearing about her day. She’s good at correcting my Portuguese and when she’s speaking English, like to Stephen, I correct her too, so it works quite well.
Our friend Vorakarn is also here. He accepted a fellowship to do medical physics research at Duke in Durham, NC (right next to our town, Chapel Hill). He speaks Portuguese because he worked in Salvador for 3 years (that’s how we met.). So when I talk to Mariana or the kids, he understands.
August 28, 2006
Mariana has the deer in the headlight look when she came in from school today. It was her first day to see what the work would be like and it’s just tough. For some reason, the guidance counselor put her in honors contemporary world history. The readings are just really tough, with every third word being something to the level of “serendipitous” or “assuage”—words you just don’t learn in second language classes.
We talked about changing her schedule some, but she’s nervous about talking to the counselor. We made a real impression on the guidance counselor last time we were there making her first schedule. My kids were running around and James has an EXTREMELY smelly diaper. The poor woman probably just wasn’t thinking straight, distracted by the noise, movement, and odor.
Sydney’s been glued to me. I think she feels a bit cheated out of time because I spend so much time speaking to Mariana.
Sydney cracks me up with her word use. If she hears a word, she wants to use it even if she’s not sure what it means. Today in the car, out of the blue, she said to Stephen,
”I’m curious.”
August 29, 2006
Stephen seems tense. Maybe it’s all the people in the house or just the extra amount of work he’s had to put in lately. I would imagine it’s frustrating, though his passive skills in Portuguese are quite good, to have everyone speaking a language you’re not good at speaking.
I love having Vorakarn here. He’s just amazed at how well the kids speak. They actually are speaking much more and much more fluently since Mariana arrived. They finally get to overhear a dialogue. Also, she has all this new, cool music that she plays in he car and in her room. James loves to go in her room.
August 31, 2006
The part about clean up is still hard. Tonight Stephen had cooked dinner because I had class. He, Mariana, and I were cleaning up and she just sort of left before things were completely clean. He told her to come back until things were cleaned up. I was so glad he was communicating directly with her, because up until now, I’ve been the one to nag about completing chores.
My parents get in tomorrow and Mariana’s bathroom is a mess…I’ll probably ask her to clean it up. She’ll do anything I ask but I think is just unsure exactly what to do. I’ve been doing her laundry because I figure her babysitting is her main chore. It was nice to got to class tonight (Mariana stayed with the kids) without Stephen having to come home early from work. She doesn’t interact a lot with the kids (I get the feeling) while I’m gone, but she’s here and she’s responsible enough and the kids love her and vice versa. Once she did braid Sydney’s hair and Sydney was just so excited! She thinks Mariana is cool so whatever she does is just fine. Sometimes she reads bedtime stories to the kids. I’m so glad we decided to have her live with us—so worth the effort to meet such a sweet kid.
Her father’s been keeping up with me in email. He said that if she doesn’t do her homework or other things we’d like her to do, that we should feel free to call her to tas (in Portuguese, this is literally, “Pull on her ear”. He’s so thoughtful.
August 30, 2006
Another Siu family meeting with the group helping not with the family themselves. They called and asked if I’d set up a time next week to have a smaller meeting about a curriculum for the 3 groups of kids they’re tutoring on Tues. and Thursday. The three and five year old make up one group, the middle school kids, then the older boys in high school. I have given lots of hints and activities, but tutors often don’t know exactly how to use the information and would feel better with a book or some type of defined curriculum. That’s fine. I’ll look more tomorrow. So far have only found two books that I found helpful and gave them to the tutors. Haven’t gotten any feedback so I’m thinking they weren’t too helpful.
