March 2009 of James 5, Sydney 7 years
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March 2, 2009
I find the whole family conversation to be strained at times. Sydney speaks English when Stephen's around and I still listen and respond in Portuguese to things she says. But I sort of don't look right at her unless we're engaged in Portuguese. Sounds weird. It's not that I don't look at her, but we don't do the same intimate eye conversation that we do when it's in Portuguese. It's sort of like I'm overhearing her talking to Stephen. It's weird though, when he's not paying attention. I end up turning the conversation to Portuguese. Then it continues in Portuguese and Stephen sometimes looks as if he's left out, especially if there's alot of laughing and joking around. Not sure what to do about that.
March 8, 2009
Did a Joan Crawford in "Mommie Dearest today. Sydney just kept using English words when I knew good and well she knew the words in Portuguese. Finally I said, "I'm not going to talk to you unless you speak Portuguese." She took it well and I wasn't yelling or giving a mean look, but I felt like a dog afterwards. I'm never doing that again. Her feelings are more important than her language skills. I think I'll apologize. I'll let you know how that goes. I've apologized in the past and she looks at me like I'm nuts.
March 9, 2009
Today James used an interesting form of gesturing with audio help. We've been working on the days of the week, which are a little tough in Portuguese. The weekdays take awhile to say and are different from English and romance languages they're familiar with like Spanish and French. So I made up a song using the days of the week and what we do on each day. The kids loved it. We sang it on and on that day and several days following, but then not after that time. That was about a month or 2 ago. I can't even remember it.
In any case, all this to say that James was trying to say the work "Friday" in Portuguese and couldn't remember the word. He was saying that it was great how he had a plan today (Tuesday) and will have one tomorrow (Wednesday) and...he wanted to say on Friday too, but didn't know the word for "Friday". So he held out his hand as if counting off days of the week and said as he touched his his ring finger and pinky "donk" (meaning Thursday) and "donk" (meaning Friday). So he got him point across without using a single day of the week word. Only "today" for Tuesday, "tomorrow" for Wednesday and "donk donk" two days from Wednesday) with his audio and finger gestures.
I ask myself, how did he know how to do that? How can we use his technique in teaching languages. I think the answer to the former question would be that he's seen it done simultaneously when people talk. People often gesture so clearly that they could nearly do without the words. Also, there are timse when I don't remember/know the word in Portuguese, but I do not resort to English. I use gestures and sounds and such.
As far as how to use the technique with children, I would say, they learn from seeing it done. If you watch a fast forward video tape of a foreign language teacher (especially one in the early levels) it looks like they are running around with their arms flying, jumping up and down, pointing, drawing, touching things around the room. Like lunetics, really. But they are teaching non-verbal communication and kids really need that, not just in second language situations, but just in general. Basically he's learning how to express himself in a variety of ways.
March 10, 2009
I walked Bickie's dog today. I was talking to the dog, Diego, in Portuguese, for some reason. Strange enough to talk to a dog, I'm doing it in a lesser known language. I told him how his name, "Diago" was pronounced in Portuguese-- "Gee-A-goo".
Later I was telling my hubby all the trials and tribulations of my day, and the "Gee-A-goo" deal came up. I said it reminded me of the name "Tiago" (in Portuguese pronounced "Chee-ah-goo"). I said that that's the name for "Tim" and that "Timothy" I remember from reading the Bible in Portuguese. It's "Timeteo." Stephen stared at me as if I were speaking another language. :-) I knew exactly why. I said to him, "I remember when I didn't understand this either."
It's hard to explain how a name is a name and that it spans across languages. Just like the names of countries. One of my ESL students was annoyed that I corrected a student who said he was from Italia. I said that here we call it "Italy." The defensive student said, "But HE'S Italian" so he should know.
It's actually really interesting. I can find out what my name is in, for example, Hebrew One foreign-language-names sitesays I'd be "Yiska": the female for "Christine."
March 11, 2009
I wrote starting with my February 7th, 2007 about my friend Judy and her son. He was adopted from Guatamaula and Judy felt it was important that they both learn Spanish. Now he's in a bilingual school and doing quite well. Things were rocky at first, but not anymore. Judy told me the other day that she was now called on by the teacher to help in Spanish. She was happy to be using the skills she learned in her class, it was cute to see that she was pleased with that.
March 15, 2009
James had a playdate with his new friend Jude. From the moment I picked the boys up from preschool, Jude was coping anything and everything that James said. He would even say it with the same intonation. I'm assuming that at some earlier point this tete-a-tete was funny. By the car ride, however, it wasn't hard to see that for James, it had become really annoying. On and On and On as we drove.
Finally, James faked him out. He spoke Portuguese. Something benign like, "O que e' que voce esta fazendo?" ("What are you doing?") Without breaking stride, Jude repeated the Portuguese question as best he could (which was pretty good, actually). James continued and so did Jude. Finally James started saying more clever things like "Eu sou burro" (I'm stupid") or "Vou dar todo meu dinheiro pra o James." ("I'm gonna give all my money to James.") Eventually, as most 5 year old boy conversations go, the topic got around to potty humor, "Eu saltei um poo!" ("I pooted!").
Jude said this like a native Portuguese speaker.
Because of the reaction he received (I couldn't help but laugh), this quickly became Jude's favorite Portuguese sayings. He practiced. He listened and repeated more. When this got old, James started counting very quickly in French. Then in Spanish at lightening (non-comprehensible) speed. Jude didn't bother with the number nonsense, preferring his Portuguese pooting proclamation.
Once we got home, I made them a snack, told them it was on the kitchen table, then got outa the kitchen. They played on their own and when I said it was time to pick up Sydney at school, I could see that the copy game was STILL in play. I asked James if it had been going on the whole time they'd been together. He answered in the affirmative:
James: Sim!
Jude: (having no idea what we're talking about) Sim!
Fast forward to the kiss-n-go at my daughter's school. Sydney hopped into the crowded-with-carseats van and found this new kid just so funny. Everytime Jude would proudly but unknowingly shout that he'd passed gas, Sydney'd double over laughing. But by the time we got home (we live only 7 blocks from her school), even she'd had enough.
Again the boys played on their own and Sydney laid low, avoiding the Jude the Tireless Parrot.
After an hour or so, round 2 of activities was begining at the Jernigan household. Monday afternoon playdate. I'd invited Jude's mom to it. It's the one we do each week with a group of mom's I've hung out with since James was at the YMCA preschool. I've mentioned them several times on this wiki because Bickie and Judy were learning Spanish and Judy's son is from Guatamala. Jude's mom came inside because it was raining, but she couldn't stay because baby sister was in her car asleep.
She asked, expectantly, how things went, "Jude was great!" I said (translated, "Does your son have an ORIGINAL THOUGHT in his head?!") Moms lie to other moms like this not to be nice or self-sacrificing, but for their own selfish motives. Regardless of your kid's friend's habits, you want that friend's mom to invite your kid over to their house next time. You even want said kid to come back and play at your abode again. Otherwise YOU will be the one playing "Trouble" and "Sorry" and "Uno" and "I Spy" and "Tiddly Winks" ad nausea. Or searching for a rubber ball you were supposed to catch though you didn't know you were even playing. Or cleaning up after I-have-no-one-to-play-with projects which often include stained wallpaper/carpet/hardwoods and broken toys that belong to older sister.
In the hub-bub of her getting Jude's bookbag, lunch, shoes, jacket together, Bickie arrived talking seriously on a cell phone herding her talkative little jacket-clad clan in from the rain, being careful not to drop damp, overloved stuffed animals. Then Judy entered, with her son, wet-shoed but happy. All this in the foyer. I fetched towels for the floor wondering what the point was. Jude's mom, with a tone usually saved for the mother of octuplets, asked, "How many people are you having?"
None of this would have been rattled me, except that Jude- insistent on upstaging the cacophony of little people talking-- was yelling, "Eu saltei um poo! Eu saltei um poo! Eu saltei um poooooooooolo!" (I pooted! I pooted! I poooooooooted!)
March 19, 2009
It's interesting seeing James playdates' reactions to hearing us speak Portuguese. Some ask what language it is, others just mimic it and laugh, some tell what they know about another language. One boy didn't even seem to notice. Later his nanny picked him up and spoke only Spanish to him. When I asked her about it, she told me (in Spanish) that her English is very bad and the boy's parents preferred they learn good Spanish rather than bad English.
March 20, 2009
I've noticed of late how much the kids seem to value technolgical knowledge over linguistical knowledge. No one would disagree that I'm more right brained and Stephen, my husband, is more left brain. Stephen was an electrical engineer and then studied computer engineering. He knows/remembers the answers to questions that deal with science, in biology for example. I tend to know more about history and language, being the liberal arts chic. James said to me that Daddy is smarter than I am. I told him that wasn't true that we were equally smart. Sydney said, "Then why do we ask Daddy all the questions?" Stephen understood our conversation (we were at the dinner table, but speaking Portuguese) and said we're smart in different ways. I joked, "If you want to ask about putting your foot in your mouth, ask your mother." Sydney looked disgusted, "uhhg!" She's takes everything literally.
March 21, 2009
Okay, again with the "Daddy is smarter." We left a video on pause last night because it was time for dinner/bed. Sydney asked Stephen to write down the time so they could return to the place where there were in the movie. He did. I should add here that I find our tv/dvd/extra all-world player very confusing. We have 4 remotes. They conspire against me and against most anyone else that isn't Stephen. My dad swears one day he's buying a "regular tv with a dial" for the guest room, since the tv is impossible to work. We also don't get a newspaper, preferring to get our news online or from the radio; so he calls our house a "news void". But...I digress.
When James and Sydney and I got home from playgroup, we were all exhausted and the kids wanted to watch the rest of that darn paused movie while I made dinner. I told them I didn't know how to get the DVD to the place they'd paused it yesterday. Sydney got so frustrated. She said, "If you're going to make us happy, Mamae, you're going to have to learn some things!"
I said nothing to this cheeky little comment, but my thought was: My expertise doesn't count when compared to how to fix Webkinz World or set up puzzels and traps for squirrels. And what expertise would that be? Well, a second language, an ability to relate and talk to ANYONE, a poker face, and a odd but fun sense of humor.
March 21, 2009
VERY interesting story I heard today from parents I see at Sydney's ballet class. I'd commented on their 7 year old daughter, Sibiene, and her natural grace in ballet. I'd noticed Sabine's mom before because I love her clothes- they have a sort of European look about them.
Anyway it turns out her father, Lucas, is German and has spoken only German to Sibiene since she was born. When I asked if it was a challenge, he said that no, it worked out quite naturally. She speaks English with her mother, who's American. Her mom told me that she can understand the German when it's at baby talk level, but if it starts to get interesting, she's lost.
Then Lucas appreared to remember something relevant. He told me that he'd officially become an American citizen just recently. (If you don't know this involves unbelievable paperwork, time, knowledge of this country that only 5% of Americans know, more time, patience, humility to even keep trying, did I mention TIME, and then more paperwork.) All this to say, it's a big deal.
He said that he passed and later told Sabiene about his success. He told her in English, instead of German, just as a sort of joke. She asked why he was speaking English and he replied jovially, "Because I'm an American now, we speak English!" Sabiene burst into tears.
I can't express to you, dear reader, how I cradeled this story in my hands, like a precious bird, wanting to share it-- to let it free to the world, but not knowing if anyone would see it's powerful significance. In other words, I asked myself, "Who cares?"
I care because I believe it demonstrates how language and relationships and self-identity are inextricably linked. When Lucas said he wouldn't speak German, he had, in Sabiene's mind, erased part of her connection with him. I've written in other parts of this wiki how difficult it is to change the language you've always spoken with someone. It's as if someone comes through and erases your previous years of relationship and experiences together.
I wonder too, if Sabiene didn't find German their language. Something her rather shared with few people in the States. Something he didn't really even share with her mom-- now that's a bond sealed with a secret code. This last theory is to say absolutely nothing negative about the mother/child relationship in this case. It's just to show how language can be the catalyst for a specialness that's hard to describe except with stories like these. I do not know this dear child outside of ballet and do not know her mind, but I think from my own experiences and case studies with other parents and children, that Sabine's reaction speaks volumes about the parent-to-child gift shared in speaking a foreign language.
I would love to hear from the parents directly on their opinions. It would be so interesting if we could hear what Sabiene says she was thinking at the time. (If she's like my little girl of the same age, she'll have no recollection of it, but--given she's reminded of the gist of the story--even retrospectively she might offer some interesting insights.) If you have anything to add, please contact Christine: christinejerigan@gmail.com or just hit "edit" above and type away.
March 27, 2009
I need the Portuguese expression for "down time." James and I have the weekend to ourselves while Sydney and Stephen do the Y Princess weekend. As we're planning one thing to do, even before we've initiated the plan, he wants to know what's next. It's killin' me. I'm not the cruise director on the Love Boat. Julie, was it?
We've done alot today. Ended up getting a little out of sorts at a movie I took him to. Bad decision on my part-- the new monsters movie. He and I watched trailers for it on the net and he said he wasn't scared. Leaving the theater early (walk of shame for mother and five-year-old) he said, "The monsters weren't as cute as you said they were." I don't think he had the least idea what an alien was. His preschool field trip this past week was to the planetarium, and then never mentioned them.
So we get home and he wants to play something, but we only have an hour before we're having pizza with some friends and their kids and then going to a concert at a friend's church (the kids will be together in daycare.) I tried to explain to him that we don't have to be DOING something all the time. That let's just do our own thing.
That worked for oh...the first 7 minutes. Then he wanted me to come see something. "Mamaeeeeee!" I hesitated to say "Just a minute" because I recently read a super article about Michael J Fox. He promised himself that when his kids said to come look at something he would go immediately, instead of asking them to wait. But, then I heaved a sigh that said, "hell, I never claimed to be as good a dad as Michael J. Fox" and told him, "I'll be there in a minute." In 20 seconds he was in my face while I'm at the computer (as I still am) saying that a minute was up. I got so frustrated and told him we didn't have to spend EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY together!! He cried and ran off.
Down time. I don't think they need the word in Portuguese. It's our culture that has to invent a construct to do nothing inbetween all our somethings.
March 22, 2009
This weekend, a friend from Sydney's school stayed with us because her mom was sick. We've never had that much time with a friend around and the languages got a bit sticky. I felt like Kayla was lost and frustrated everytime we spoke Portuguese. Some kids have been around Spanish or other people speaking other language, but I dont' think Kayla had much.
So Sydney was the constant translator (or I did it). At one point, she said, "Speak in English so Kayla can understand." That hurt, like being chided. She's right in that I don't want to exclude her friends, but at the same time, when I did speak English it was tough. I think mainly that was because when I speak English to their friends, I look at their friends, and not at James and Sydney. The same goes for when we speak English around Stephen. The kids and I tend to avoid eye contact, keeping eye contact with Stephen instead since he's the one who needs the English. But with Kayla it was tough because she tended not to keep eye contact. Sometimes she didn't appear to be listening at all, and that's when I'd slip back into Portuguese. Once she saw she wasn't understanding something, her interest was piquied and we were supposed to return to English (which I rarely did). I told Sydney to stop using Kayla's name when we spoke in Portuguese. Not that we were talking about her in any pejorative way, but when all she can hear is "Blah blah Kayla blah blah," she wonders what's being said about her. So we called her "Ela ela" (She she). It worked well, even James got into it. I see this really being an issue as sydney gets into the middle school years because none of her friends are gonna look me in the eye. It's just not what hormone producing kids do with their friends' moms. Hum...Guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
March 23, 2009
Looking back over the weekend I am processing something that happened while I was listening in on a conversation between Nekayla and Sydney. They didn't know I was in the next room. (I wasn't trying to spy...just happened to be reading on the couch in the family room when they went to the kitchen in the next room.) Sydney was talking with Nekayla's accent and intonation. At one point, something was said and I wasn't sure which girl had said it. Nekayla is from the States so she's a native speaker but she is from North Carolina and has a southern accent. She also has a different venacular because she is African American.
I remember as a child, doing this same thing. My dad even got frustrated with me once because on the phone to my yankee friend, I was talking like her. He told me I should instead "be myself." Isn't it interesting that Sydney does the same thing? I should ask her if she knows she does it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't and would think I'm weird (she's getting to that stage) for even asking.
James heard the host on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me with his strong Jersey accent and said, "He's not from here." I asked how he know and James said, "He doesn't speak English like we do."
