October of James 2 1/2- 3 Years, Sydney 4 1/2- 5 Years, Mariana 17 Years, Montegnard Family of 8
From BilingualWiki
October 2, 2006
Vorakarn did fine taking care of the kiddies. He speaks Portuguese because he lived in Brazil for 3 years teaching high school science. He said the kids would sometimes speak English to him and other times speak Portuguese. He did end up reading to them in Portuguese (I had hidden all the books in English) and said he would only read to them out of earshot of Mariana (our foreign exchange student from Brazil) because he was afraid she'd die laughing at his Thai accent. He said he'd read several books to the 2 of them and then said to Sydney, "Ok you read this one." She's only 4 so she can't quite read yet. She gave him a look like, "Are you nuts?"
Mariana has a Brazilian friend, Claudia, who's working as an Au Pair here in town. The three kids she works with (ranging in age from 3-6) don't want anything to do with her. Literally they say, "Don't touch me." Apparently they've been that way since the beginning of Claudia's stay. Claudia's still working on her English and sometimes doesn't understand what the kids are saying to her. The kids get mad when she doesn't understand, frustrated at having to repeat themselves. It made me think that perhaps, had these kids had exposure to learning another language, they would have some understanding of why it's difficult for Claudia. I'd never thought of this as a plus to early second language exposure.
I've noticed that sometimes the kids aren't understood when they're saying cognates. Today, a guy at the YMCA was asking James is he ate cereal for breakfast (the guy who asked was at the time finishing up a bowl of Cherrios). James said, "cereal" but with a Brazilian accent, where the accent is on the last syllable. The guy didn't understand him at all. Sydney tried to "translate" for James, but she said "cereal" in much the same way, so the guy sort of gave up. I said, "They're saying it in Portuguese" and he just looked like he had no idea how to respond to that.
People think Portuguese is so difficult, but really, in my days of teaching English, I found English so much more difficult. Just received this email from an interviewee and friend:
"Hi Christine,
Tonight I was helping John proofread/edit a paper that he's writing about Houdini and I thought you might enjoy these creative spellings:
'furryus' = furious
'sixseed' = succeed
It reminded me of my sister's famous misspelling when she was young: 'yurp' = Europe
Every time I pointed out a misspelled word Jacob exclaimed in exasperation 'ugh! The English language!'"
Liza
October 3, 2006
Tutoring for the Siu family seems to be coming along. I got an email today from one of the volunteer tutors that shows how frustrating it can be to teach English:
"English threw a curve last night when we worked on contractions as in I am/I'm, you are/you're, we are/we're, he is/he's, etc. The simple explanation which seemed to work was -- hey, we Americans like to talk fast, so we leave out parts of words and put a " ' " in the spot. Jarai and Vietnamese don't do this apparently."
Tomorrow we have a meeting of the tutors here at the house so hopefully we can add our brains together and see how we can best help.
Mariana is so funny. She is so nervous about talking to some people. She needed to get her paperwork in for a church youth group trip this coming weekend. Got all the way to the assistant pastor's house to turn in the papers and got nervous. Biked all the way home. Then other times, today for instance, she was so brave. She set up an appointment with her advisor to change some classes. I don't know why, but her present advisor hasn't been especially friendly with her, so it was scary. I was proud of her.
It's funny how someone just sort of becomes a family member. My friends ask about how late I let her stay out. She doesn't drink and there's never been a problem with her going out. I konw the girls who pick her up. So, until there's a problem, I'm gonna keep on this track.
I've been teaching aerobics of all things, for the last 2 months. Today when we did our situps, different people who knew different languages had to do the counting. It was so fun. Lots of languages.
October 4, 2006
James has been speaking more Portuguese of late, but I have to insist. He'll ask in English, "What do now?" and I have told him many many times how to say that in Portuguese. So I say, "O que? Fale em portugues." ("What? Say it in Portuguese) and he does. Same with other things he wants. He's saying some things on his own like "abre" for "open" when he wants his juice bottle opened.
All night last night, Sydney was mixing Portuguese and English. She'd say the easy words in Portuguese and then any real vocabulary word she'd say in English. So it was like, "Vamos pra o store" such that only the word "store" was in English. I'd ask her to say it in Portuguese and she'd look like she didn't remember so I'd give her the first syllable and she could get it after that. I tried to really praise her for the Portuguese. This process is really tiring.
I start teaching Portuguese I at Durham Tech tonight. (Nothing is as challenging as teaching your own children.) I look forward to the class. Vorakarn's taking it and already speaks Portuguese so that should be interesting. I'll be teaching things like greetings and pronunciation so he may be bored outa his mind.
I've decided to wear a huge sandwich board that looks like those blue outlined name stickers that says, "O meu nome e Christine" I look at it like this-- students learn better when they are less anxious. If I can model self-confidence/willingness to look silly/put myself on the line for them, it would really serve them well. It'll be hard having people in the class I actually know (like Vorakarn and another guy from church who's a friend of my husband's has registered for the class). But hey, it's worth it to teach my favorite language, right?
October 5, 2006
It's a miracle I even lived through the Portuguese class. Teaching a class is so different from teaching your kids. Challenging in totally different ways. Plus it'd been a hard afternoon.
The group who tutors the Siu family were coming over from 3:30 to 4:45 pm to go over what they've been teaching, how we can improve the communication among tutors and such. There were complaints that I really felt would be solved if the tutors would follow the little 4 step plan we'd already discussed at length. Everytime they came up with a scenario of what to teach, I'd put it into the 4 step template. I think they thought I was fruatrated and maybe I was but mainly I was in pain because on the way to answer the door for the first person, I hurt my ankle on the stairs. I didn't even get up to get the door for the others. I put ice on it, elevated it, and took tons of Motrin. I decided to leave at 5:00 to go to Durham, but traffic's bad and I had tons of stuff to set up in the room before the students arrived. Really tried to move the meeting along. I kept wondering how, with my ankle, I would teach a 3 hour Portuguese class and then aerobics the next day.
Finally, near 5:00 I told the group we had to wrap it up b/c I had to leave to teach. They said, "Do you mind if we stay?" Mariana was in charge of the kids. Whatever, didn't really bother me.
So i limp barefooted to the car and drive to Durham Tech. Kept looking for a non reserved parking place to park. Ended up hitting a parked car. A policeman was about 3 feet away when it happened. He came over and told me it was the vice President's car. I limped out and saw the damage, not too bad on his/her car. Then the cop asked for registration and insurance and I could NOT find the registration. I looked and looked and then started to sob. The policeman was like, "Mam, are you ok?" I said, still crying uncontrollably, "I can hardly walk b/c of my ankle and I can't find the registration and I have to teach a 3 hour class at 6:00 and an aerobics class in the morning." Finally I found the registration. He and the security man were really really nice about it. I put my shoes on and it helped the pain a bit to be at an angle. The security guy said he would call and let me know the cost.
So I find my classroom, find someone to unlock it, try to set up, and students (why do people come early?) were already coming in. I was greeting them in Portuguese, limping around while I put things on the walls and such. After not long the room was filled and I took the last couple of minutes to go to the bathroom. Looked in the mirror and had mascara running down both cheeks. Oh my gosh! Put some chapstick on it to wipe it off, then just before wiping, decided to leave it there as a visual for the students. Talk about looking foolish in front of the class to assuage their language anxiety! So I am speaking only in Portuguese to them, greeting them, then explaining about the car deal. I draw 2 cars on the board that look more like overripe bananas. Then I mimic crying and say, "See, I still have mascara on my face" (in Portuguese, not sure anyone got that" so I wiped it off. Found out on break that they thought i'd hurt my ankle in the accident (I limped around until the 3rd hour, when it popped and felt better, strange!)
I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they were having trouble with this one oral exercise. Vorakarn's in the class (for fun and for a change of pace) and he told me after class that it was because I hadn't yet taught them the numbers 1-10. When you teach your kids all the time, it's like, "Hey, even my 2 year old can do that!" and you don't think to teach it to adults. I'll know next time. The class was good overall, love the students. Really an enthusiastic and smart group so it'll be a good semester. I think with what I'll owe on the VP's car, it'll be volunteer work, though.
Lately, speaking of kids, Sydney's been speaking so much English to me. Not complete sentences, but the "biggest" word in the sentence. It's maddening. Today I got frustrated and told her not to speak to me in English. I think I hurt her feelings and felt just awful. I decided to loosen up, that our relationship is of course the most important thing and that there are fun ways I can included Portuguese without making this a battle of wills.
October 9, 2006
Yesterday I saw some of the members of the Siu family. I still don't feel I can communicate with them except to hug and say how are you. I told them I'm bringing them a pumpkin. I don't think they know what that is in English. If I leave it on their porch, Bop will probably cook it. That'd be ok, I guess.
The kids at our church want to do something to help the family, like a food drive, but it's hard because they just aren't used to eating the canned stuff we do. Rice with some vegetables sometimes chicken. I think they were probably all a bit malnourished, but then again, who knows, maybe they're healthier than we are, not eating all the preservatives and transfat junk food Americans eat.
October 4, 2006
James is starting to speak Portuguese and really get the difference between what Daddy says and what I say. He asked on his own yesterday, "O que vamos fazer?" ("What are we going to do") and I was so excited.
I had this image that speaking Portuguese with Mariana would improve the kids Portuguese, but in fact, I just think they get jealous of the attention I spend with her. Also, at dinner last night, we were all speaking Portuguese except Stephen and I sensed he felt a bit left out. I turned to him in English to ask about something we'd just been discussing (the discussion before had been in Portuguese) and he said, "I don't know...what are you talking about." I said, "You could understand if you tried." All of this was said in calm, non-threatening tones. He gave me a look I don't know how to interpret. A sort of pleading, maybe, of "that's too much, I've been on board with it all, but that's just too much to ask."
October 11, 2006
Taught second Portuguese class. Of course, the day before, I'd been hit on the bridge of my nose, as you do, by a heavy piece of falling metal (long story, don't ask) so my nose was a little red and hurt. One of the students asked if a certain word had a nasal sound and I said yes, putting squeezing the bridge of my nose. I yelped out in pain. After the limping from last week and the mascara face from blubbering with the cop, these people probably think I'm a nutcase. It was a really good class. It's hard to teach language and culture without teaching stereotypes. I wanted them to learn the numbers. We needed 1-27 because I'd mentioned there are 26 states plus the Washington DC of Brazil that appear as stars on their flag. We got to 27 so easily that I said we shoudl go up to my age. So we counted to 37. Then I asked if anyone thought they were the oldest in the class. One man of 52 bravely raised his hand. So we learned to count to 52. Then I told them to ask their partner how old they were and to be honest. Everyone looked a little uncomfortable, especially the men with women who were 40-45ish, you know. I told them that Brazilians tend to ask more personal questions and divulge more personal information sooner and more than Americans do. As I was saying it though, I felt like, "Ok, can I really make this sweeping statement?
Those type things are hard in teaching. It's the same with teaching Sydney, I want her to know more than stereotype ofs Brazilians. I know she learns most by just being with Mariana or with the Brazilian bible study. In so many ways, those people though, have adapted so to American culture. Even Mariana, who's been here for just 3 months, eats Cheetoes and has stopped ironing her casual clothes.
I told Stephen i really want to go to Brazil this summer, budget permitting. He said he didn't want to go somewhere we'd already been. This is sort of a rule with us, we don't revisit the same place. So I said, ok, then we can pick one of the other 7 countries/providences that speak Portuguese. How 'bout Angola. He didn't bat an eye. Just said, "ok, well, what is there to do there?" I dunno. The deal is I want Brazilian culture, so what good is it to go to Portuguese where they look at Brazilian as sort of rednecks. Ah, Europeans! I'm just full of stereotypical remarks today so I'll close before I get myself into trouble. Take it all with a grain of salt.
October 10, 2006
Did a little experiment with Sydney last night. She's been with her dad alot that night and I was doing nightly prayer with her. After the prayer we usually talk awhile. Last night, she was doing the thing again where she uses all the small, connecting words in Portuguese, but the big/harder words are in English. I let her go on without interupting her for awhile, then I went back to what I often do when she's tell me something in an animated way and I'm trying to be as little disruptive as I can. When she said the word in English, I'd say it to her in Portuguese but not insist that she repeat it. She would immediately begin to use the word in Portuguese if she said that word again (which happens often, since when you're on a certain topic, you tend to reuse many of the same words). Othertimes when she's asking for something (when she's not in the middle of a story that I'd ruin by interupting), I"ll ask her to say it in Portuguese and she almost always can. Rarely she'll say she doesn't know. Sometimes she'll look pensive and if she gets to the "frustrated look" point, I'll give her the first syllable of the word.
Also, sometimes she gets stuck looking for a word because she has the wrong gender of the word she's trying to say. You know how in English, if you're looking for a word, you say, "it was the...the ...the" In romance languages, that "the" is differs depending on the gender of the noun you're trying to think of. So for example, she'll be looking for the word "giraffa" (the stuffed girafe) and she's saying, "Nao sei onde estao o...o..." and I'll prompt with "a..." since the word is feminine. This is helpful to her especially if she's using a possessive (that also has to have a gender). "Nao sei onde esta o meu..." She wants to say "muchila" (bookbag) which is feminine. So I feed her, "a minha..." and it gets often veers her brain to the feminine side of the fork in the road and more sucessfully to the right word.
Last night we had our monthly meeting with Mariana. We decide on that first week she was here, that we'd have monthly get togethers to air any grievences, etc. Stephen and I told her how we were concerned about her schoolwork and she agreed to get a tutor. I'd already talked to her father about it. He is so nice, concerned, good father from what I see. Mariana's nuts about him and I can tell he misses her. To finish up that part of the conversation, I said, "Ok, tomorrow, I'll call the number the school gave me and get you a tutor." Stephen interrupted to say, "Actually I think that should be Mariana's responsibility." So I gave her the number and am going to resist asking about it for a few days.
We also discussed how we'd like her to interact with the kids more. When she babysits, sometimes she does stuff with the kids... gives them something to eat/drink if they ask, once she bathed them and did Sydney's hair, she's read books, but it's unusual. Most of the time she stays in her room doing her own thing. So Stephen mentioned how we were hoping for more of a cultural exchange among her and the children. She seemed to think that was a reasonable request.
Sometimes it's like she only talks to me when the kids are around. Or even while Stephen is around. I also feel a bit bad with the Portuguese only rule because I know she'd be learning English faster if she were in an English only environment. I asked if she'd like for me to speak English only to her when Stephen's around. (In fact, I try to do this anyway, but she sort of tunes out when I start speaking English, as if I'm only talking to Stephen...part of this is probably my fault because I may look more at Stephen if I'm talking about stuff that's more relevant to him). Anyway, she thought this was a good idea. She suggested that I speak in Portuguese to her and she respond in English. I said no. That would be a terrible model for the kids and I seriously doubt we would continue doing it for long. Our relationship has been established in Portuguese and that's tough to change. Plus my Portuguese is stronger than her Englsih so it just tends to fall that we'd speak Portuguese. Plus I feel that was part of this was what we agreed on. That she would speak Portuguese to the kids and me. She seemed ok with this.
Stephen explained that it's hard for us to know how much of a parenting role to take with her. I'm sure this is a challenge for anyone with a foreign exchange student. Her grades are low at this point. He said that he doesn't want to have to make rules like limits on how much she chats on the computer or plays cards online, but that he'd prefer she set those perameters. I didn't mention this, but I feel like that sometimes with the going-out thing. I talked it over with Stephen in the beginningand we decided not to have a curfew as long as no problems occured. If there werer issues, we'd decide from there what the rule should be. So far, I'm pretty sure she doesn't drink, I know the crowd she hangs out with, and they seem like just good people having fun. But then one night, for example, she asked to go out on a weeknight. I asked about her homework and she said she didn't have any. So I said yes, but to not stay out late. She was home by 10:30. But then the next day, she looked so tired. I can't remember what the rule was at my house. I think I could go out after school, but that unless it was a church or school special event, I didn't go out on weeknights.
I had a student write from the Portuguese class that he/she is a bit lost in class. This happens each semester I teach and I'm so glad no one has let it push them to drop the class. I wrote him back, "It's ok if you're a bit lost right now, I'd say 90% of the class is (the ones who aren't are the ones who already knew quite a bit of Portuguese or French). I can't remember if I mentioned it in class, but I do the "bucket method" which basically means I give alot of input, more than a majority of the class can take in. So some falls by the wayside, just as water you poured in quickly would spill over the top onto the floor. But, I believe with the extra input, you learn more than if you just got bits and pieces of languages...drop by drop. I believe this only works if you are not anxious while learning. You know it's doable, though, right. Have done some research in this area--google my name if you're interested (I'm sure you'll find a page-turner or two :-).
So basically you'll notice that I usually look sillier than I ask anyone in the class to be, keep it lively or you'd all fall asleep, and make the tests more like practice where students learn instead of get all nervous and show what they forgot or don't know."
If he/she only knew how silly I'm going to look tomorrrow. I'm teaching the kissing stuff and that's tough--- how to greet with one kiss or two, when to know what to do-- shake hands or kiss or hug depending on your status and sex. So to put people at more ease (and just for fun), I'm going to have a Brazil t-shirt under my jacket and a black wig in my bag. When it's time to practice the kisses, I'll leave the room for a sec and come back as the Brazilian. That way they can practice on someone with NO ONE in the room focusing on them. It's the wig I plan to use to be wonderwoman for halloween-- never knew it'd get so much use.
October 12, 2006
James is getting it. He loves his new backpack (a little blue Bananas-in-Pijamas pack that he carries emergency clothes/pull-up/drink in). In the car, he kept asking me for his "backpack". I said, "muchila", enunciating it slowly-- "moooo sheee la". He said, "Daddy 'backpack'" and I said, "E o que e que a mamae diz?" ("And what does mommy say?" He said, with the same slow enunciation, "moooo sheee la"
Our neighbors spend quite a bit of time here and vice versa. I used to speak Portuguese some to the younger boy who's about 3 1/2 now.His sister's 7. They both call me "mamae". It cracks me up.
Stephen's been so good about the whole foreign exchange stuff. We were having dinner tonight when Mariana and several other students, Brazilians, some guys from Spain, the coordinator for the foreign exchange students, etc. came literally bursting in. One went to get a glass of water while the other used the bathroom. Everyone was talking animatedly in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. One of the Spaniards, a small thin teen, was wearing clothes like MC Hammer -- though his gold necklace was about 3 times bigger. He talked to Stephen (who was mid-bite) about about sailing, getting the cue from Stephen's sailing t-shirt. Stephen looked like he might choke from trying not to laugh. It was seriously like a paint bomb had gone off in our kitchen. Once the storm passed and Stephen and I were alone, he asked, "So were those all the foreign exchange students in the Triangle Area?" With a grin, I should add.
October 13, 2006
Mariana babysat for the kids yesterday while I was in class and when I came home, they were all 3 in the playroom reading books (in Portuguese). The kids looked so happy. I felt so good. Ended up helping Mariana with her English homework. She was comparing the Brazilian education system (high school mainly) to the US system and it was so funny because we both had some wrong notions of the others systems so we went round and round about how to compare the two. She's really translating word for word from Portuguese so I'm sure it's difficult for her teachers to understand. I'm going to do more tutoring on that if she'll let me.
I'm learning so much Portuguese. She said that Sydney's going to be a "CDF" (Cabeca de ferro--translated Lead Head). I asked if that meant she'd be a nerd and she said, no, that means she'll be the smart kid in the class.
Portuguese class Wednesday was more like a party. When I first got there, one of the students handed me this tall Brazilian feather crown that you see in Brazilian beauty pagents and during Carnival-- green and yellow (colors of the flag, of course). He asked me to wear it the entire class (3 hours). I thought, "why not?" I mean, I had the Brazil (again, yellow and green) shirt under my jacket to show once I put on the black wig to be a Brazilian woman. I had made a black mustache from an index card and stuck it on when we needed to practice with a Brazilian man. Everyone wsa quite relaxed and didn't seem too uptight about kissing on the cheek and hugging and such.
One student who's lived in the Azores (Portuguese islands off the mainland) and brought Portuguese bread, cheese, sausage, olives, etc. It was so delicious. The cheese was really strong so I'd see some of the guys eat it and want to exclaim something, but not know what to say. So now everyone knows "forte" ("strong"). I knew that one of the students had had a birthday so I'd done this overhead with the words to Happy Birthday in Portuguese. Turns out another guys birthday was on the exact day of class so we sang to them both. The later man's wife brought a carrot birthday cake. Break was really fun. I love that I don't have some rigid schedule to stick to because we were able to take the time after the break to work on things like, "I like olives, do you?" That's why kids learn so fast, they're picking up the language while experiencing things.
Their test was super low anxiety. I tried to make it an experience. I had post-its around the room with vocabulary they were to know and the name of whose it was (it's a challenge to say, "This is the envelope of the director" because you have quite a few grammar rules to deal with. I also did the laundry cord with the Brazilian t-shirts strung on the line to do colors and numbers. Just graded the papers and they did fairly well. On the oral part, each one came out into the hall and we greeted each other and had a short conversation. I was amazed at the difference in levels. Some can really talk because they've learned French or Spanish or have been to Brazil or Portugal. Others look at me like I'm from Mars. (I sorta looked like I was from Mars with feathers falling off my Brazilian tiera, so I can't really blame them).
Getting James to speak Portuguese is like pulling teeth. When he really wants something, he will say it in Portuguese, but usually his first time, it's in English. I'll say, "In Portuguese" and sometimes he'll play along. He nearly always says, "Yes" instead of "Sim". This morning he said it and I replied, "Sim, James" He said, "No, Yes!" with a little grin that said he thought this was a marvelous game. I just didn't play along and ignored it. Didn't react at all. He'll say, "Daddy yes!" Mamae Sim" so he gets the principle, but continues to say, "yes." Man, he's acting like a 2 year old. (Oh yeah, he is a 2 year old.) Patience Patience.
October 14, 2006
I am so happy. Ok, let me back up. For over a year now, I've been trying to get in touch with Mario, who was my boss when I taught English in Brazil the first time. He was more than that though, friend, mentor. We were really close and I love his wife and daughters like I do my own family. I worked for him right out of college and then again when I finished my graduate work, but have sort of lost touch with him. I've thought of him and his family so often having Mariana here. Mariana reminds me sometimes of Felia, Mario's daughter. Anyway, so I found a website for his school and write to the comment page and her responded immediately. It was sooo good to hear his voice. Like flipping pages to the front of the book and re-living the tale from the perspective of now being halfway through the novel.
I've thought of his family when Mariana does things that just aren't "culturally acceptable" and of how patient they were with me. One thing especially jumped out at me, something I hadn't thought of in 15 years. When I was living with Mario's family, his wife, Cara, and I had trouble communicating because I didn't really understand Portuguese and she didn't speak English. She came in my room one day trying to explain something about my underwear. I was so lost. I REALLY wanted to understand, as you would when someone's pointing out what appeared to be something negative about your undergarments. Turns out that in Brazil, even if you have a washing machine like they had, the underwear is washed by hands. In this case, the maid did it. As a courtesy to the maid, everyone was supposed to wash out their underwear (I mean, the important part) before putting it in the laundry basket. This wasn't one of those things you read in "Go Brazil!" or any other travel literature on the culture. I'm not sure how she got me to understand, perhaps Mario ended up stepping in to interpret (how embarrasing would that have been)...it's one of those moments I probably don't remember too clearly because I've blocked it from my memory.
So I keep all this in mind when I nearly freak out with Mariana dipping pretzels into the butter. I mean, who defines what's right/polite/normal???
Hearing from Mario encouraged me to do something I've been meaning to do. NPR has these pieces called "The Story" where Dick Gordon interviews people who've had some moment in their life that they feel turned things around (for better or for worse). Some of them are from famous people like astronauts and others are people you never would have heard from otherwise. I remember one young woman who was an exercise bolemic and another who'd been freed from prison 6 years earlier than her sentence allowed...giving her a new lease on life. I decided to send in my story. I think everyone has moments like that. I've had several. This one involves Brazil and expresses feelings I've never tried to articulate. It is as follows:
I went to work in Brazil, by mistake really. Fresh out of college, I'd wanted to teach English in France, but every francophone rode was a dead-end. Instead with the help of my summer job boss, landed a teaching position in the interior of Brazil. My first thought, "Great, I'll learn Spanish!" I had no idea.
I was to teach English and live with the family who owned the only English school in a tiny one-foreigner-horse town. On the way from the airport to where I would be staying, I looked out the windows at the forest around me. I had to bite my tongue not to yell my thoughts aloud, "There are different colors of GREEN here!" I had fallen into another world. I was finally coming home. I have never been the same.
Learned Portuguese enough to converse. In the square one day a student of mine introduced me to his friend, a young man from outside the ESL school. His friend greeted me in German, smiling and awaiting my return greetings. My student told him (in Portuguese of course) , She’s American, she speaks English, man.” He responded, “Yeah, but German is the only foreign language I know.”
I flowed ‘round the bones and marrow of this people, this place, the family I lived with. Perhaps this was where I was supposed to be born…some sort of Cosmic/God- was-distracted-that-day sort of mishap. Yet I was still an other. I tried so hard learning to behave in my new world. —laughing, crying, pouring over grammar books, overly eager to swallow as much as possible and “catch up” on what I’d missed.
I returned to Brazil several times after that stint and even taught Portuguese at a US university to put my way through doctoral studies on Foreign Language Education. I’ve moved around—Australia, France, and all over the US, teaching Portuguese, training language teachers, and becoming a part of the Brazilian community (yes, there’s a Brazilian community in Sydney, Australia!) I have spoken only Portuguese to my children (now 2 and 4) since they were in my womb and have even documented each word, each incident of their progress, page after page of passing on to them a part of their roots. A Brazilian foreign exchange student lives with us now. She is someone to sing with, who knew the crescendos and the subtle damper-peddle notes of a country with “such potential.” She’s like having my teddy bear back—mine, yet not me completely. I am American, but my blood still spills a bit of yellow and green. Many colors of green.
October 15, 2006
I'm still unsure how much to "mother" Mariana. I put the ball in her hands as far as getting a tutor and assume she'll take care of that. I don't want to be a nag, but I want to be responsible at the same time. It's a fine line. I appreciate my parents more than ever. I took so many things for granted as a teenager...that's just what teenagers do, I guess.
Stooped to a whole new low today when Sydney was mixing the languages. I said, (I'm translating this of course), Sydney, you're speaking alot of English to me. I'd like you to speak Portuguese. If you speak Portuguese each day, that evening I can give you some money. Then you can get whatever you want." Her eyes lit up. I continued, "Even a doll!" (I added in this last part because whenever you mention spending her own money, all she imagines is buying stickers. I want her to know that by doing what I ask, she can move into the big league of Toys are Us junk, you know?) Sometimes I think this is just nuts.
October 24, 2006
Got a call from a computerized voice saying Mariana hadn't been in fourth through sixth periods. Asked her about it and she said she was there. I believe her. I did what the computer said though and called one of the teachers. Computer glitch most likely, I really trust her.
She's been sweet with answering my questions. Things like "lightswitch" I don't really care to know because I know many other ways to say "turn on the light" and such, but sometimes students need to know. I asked her today and she couldn't remember. It drives her crazy when she can't remember a word so by today she'll have it. It's one of those hard-to-look up words...2 word expressions in English often are. I've been trying to help her with her work in English but she really doesn't ask for much help. She has a biology quiz today and I offered to quiz her, but she says she doesn't learn that way.
I really got my feelings hurt yesterday. I have to have a tougher skin. Sydney's been speaking so much English to me. She kept saying the word "shirt" in English (the rest of the sentence was in Portuguese but she well knows the word for "shirt"). I kept saying, "a o que?" ("the what?") She kept repeating "shirt" in English until I asked the 3rd time and she said, just disgusted and with as much contempt as a 4 year old can muster, "CAMISA!" ("SHIRT!") This is so challenging. I really want to encourage parents to do this, but I'm realizing it is a DAILY job-- 24 hours actually. I feel so good when she does speak Portuguese though and James is so cute saying "Eu tambem!" ("Me too!") with his accent. So there are highs and lows. It's worth it.
October 25, 06
I called the school about the call about Mariana's skipping 4-6th period and the problem was she had gone to the wrong study period. She said a security guard escorted her to the correct room.
James is starting to say more in Portuguese but still rebels about saying "sim" which is driving me bonkers. He does what we're going to do next, where people are, that he wants to eat/drink in Portuguese so we're getting there. I've asked Sydney repeatedly to speak Portuguese to him while I'm around. Most of the time she does for the first 3 words, then back to English.
October 27, 2006
Mariana's off school today and is with a Brazlian au pair for the day and for last night. I hope she's home to carve pumpkins-- that's just so American. On Monday, I asked if she'd called about the tutor and she said she was calling one that day. Now it's Friday and I'm not asking again.
Her coordinator called and is desperately seeking housing for 2 Spanish high school boys. It's hard to find housing for men, I think. I can't think of ANY of my friends who'd be interested--- they have all said I'm nuts to be doing this. It is a little expensive having an extra person and people are concerned about that. Our water bill is higher than it's ever been and the phone bill was higher, stuff like that. People don't understand how fun it is to learn about another culture, and see that the culture we have isn't so universal. Plus she's just so fun. Definitely worth it.
Mariana carved pumpkins tonight-- she was so excited and so shocked by what a mess the inside is. She's so excited about her first Halloween! The whole notion of going to people's houses and they give you candy is so odd to those outside the US. It really is, if you just think about it for a minute. And we say other cultures are strange! I mean, seriously we're trying to scare each other, we're trying to scare children.
James kept asking (yelling from the kitchen while I was doing laundry in the hall) for "Juice!" I heard Sydney tell him that if he kept saying "juice" instead of "suco" (the word in Portuguese for "juice") that he would never get any from mamae. I'm the Portuguese nazi.
October 28, 2006
James was so cute this morning. He was headed to the restroom (where he now lives and breathes...it's pottie training season). Anyway Stephen said, Stephen "Tchau." James in this scolding tone and with a slight frown on his face said, "No, Daddy say 'Bye.' Mamae say 'Tchau'"
Pottie training has taken over our lives it feels. I think somehow I'd envisioned that being such a "formally educated" mother and teaching the kids to be bilingual would make the grunge of stay-at-home-mom a little more intellectual. Here's an excerpt from an email I just wrote to a friend. She speaks some Portuguese so I"ll tranlate those parts. She and I had just been writing about surgeons and the medical profession:
"I just performed a surgery of my own. James was crying out during his naptime that he had poop on him (coco has become a household term here...and xixi, of course). I went to his bedroom and he'd locked himself in. Emanating from under the door was a smell that could squash a small army. I didn't even know he could lock his door. So I found my surgical Philip’s head and removed the tumorus doorknob while Mariana-- who's room's next door to his-- complained, "Nossa, esse cheiro 'ta infestando a casa toda!" (Man, that smell’s infesting the whole house!””) I freed my only son, let him know it was all ok--- that todo mundo faz coco (“everybody makes a poo), took his stinky/crying little body to the bathroom, and finally calmed him down with more "Foi so um accidente” (“It was just an accident”). He stopped crying and I tried to begin the pre-op prep of clothing removal. Upon seeing the actual damage to his clothes, etc. (up his back!!) I yelled out and jumped back, "Ai, meu Deus do Ceu!" (“Oh my God from Heaven!”). He started squalling again. So I've washed him, nearly vomited from toxic fumes, washed clothes, wondered why I went to college, cleaned his carpet, put his doorknob back on (turned so it locks only from the outside), sprayed cheap perfume all over the upstairs, wondered if there was a better way to get the smell out and feared that my only alternate idea for smells is burning candles which would eventually burn the house down. I bleached my hands. "
October 30, 2006
Sydney has been interested in music since we bought the digital piano. She looks at the musical notes and has asked several times, "Que lingua e essa?" ("What language is that in?") I explained that it's the language of music. She seemed satisfied with that.
Last night when I put her to bed, she had books all around her. She said she was giving a class. "Aula de noite" ("a night class"). I asked what she was teaching. She said she does one night of English and one night of Portuguese. Sometimes James wants to play and she tells him that no, she has to do a class.
I have noticed that Sydney doesn't mix the languages much at all when speaking English to Stephen. When she got to a word she wasn't sure of in English ("gibi") ("comics") she just circumnavigated and said, "I'm reading those books with little pictures and not many words." So she knows if she says the word "gibi" that Stephen won't understand. But with me, she knows I'll still get the message so she takes the path of least resistence. I'm making a real effort to praise her when she does speak Portuguese and not make a huge deal when she doesn't.
Whenever James says something to me in English, I'll repeat it in Portuguese. He'll tell me that Daddy says _______ (word in English). It's funny. I'll say, "yeah, and how does mamae say it. He'll finally say it in Portuguese. His enunciation in Portuguese isn't good at all but it wwasn't in English a few months ago so I'm hoping that two will improve.
Mariana and her Brazilian friends think it's so funny how Americans and spanish speakers sing "Happy Birthday." She said it sounds more like a dirge because it's sung so slowly and no one seems excited or claps their hands like Brazilians are/do. Her imitation of our Happy Birthday, with a drab face, is just priceless. She gets report cards Thursday...I'm a bit nervous. Stephen talked about how she needs a cell. It came up because Saturday she didn't come to a party she's said she'd come to and I was worried. We decided against insisting on the cell phone and just making it more clear to her that we need to know where she is and be able to contact her. She seemed amenable to that.
She's been playing with the kids more. A friend of Mariana's gave Sydney books (comic books) and games like "pick up sticks" and we've had such fun with all that. Sydney ws almost overwelmed by 4 comic books at the same time. The two I brought her from New York haev lost their covers because they've been read so many times. I ordered more Brazilian books for her on the net. Man, they are pricy!
Last night I came up a good analogy of how language teachers should interact with their students. it's along the lines of being unafraid to look silly so that your students are not afraid. Saturday, my friends and I were dressed in Halloween costumes, doing a scavenger hunt downtown. It was right after a football game so traffic on foot and car was packed. Franklin street is the main drag...anybody who knows anything about Chapel Hill knows where it is. A group of college age kids came up to the 4 of us in costume and asked, "WHere is Franklin St?" we told them it was just around the corner. I think they deliberately chose us to ask...they would have been embarrased to ask some kids dressed normally where were their own age for fear of really looking out of it. So our looking so silly lowered their anxiety.
